I'm Suing Chief And Need A Lawyer, Inquire Within
Today the Barstool Chicago crew went on $20 Chef’s Sirius show to talk anything and everything. Obviously within a few minutes the conversation diverted to my fuck up yesterday.
Anyways, Chief and I were in an uber on the way to the office after we were on air. I was staring out the window and for the first minute or so of the ride just thinking. Contemplating. Self reflecting. Assessing what a mess my life has become. This is when I came up with the idea that I should hire a manager of sorts. That’s when I, for once, came up with a really good idea. Just hire a manager. We’ll get to that in a moment.
When I say I’m constantly finding myself in pickles, I’m not lying. I’m talking pickles with girls, with the police, with money, with my parents, with literally everything. Just constantly in jams. I’ve become adept at weaseling my way out of shit, because that’s what I am, a weasel, but now that I have the public’s eye I can’t be doing stupid shit non-stop anymore. No more walks of shame to Walgreens for the murder pill, no more calling my dad for bail money in Hammond IN at 3am, no more ignoring my student loans. None of that.
That said, when every single instinct your brain has is a bad one, using your brain is easier said than done. That’s me. So my manager’s job will be to use his brain in place of mine as Chief said in his blog. Similar to how Happy Gilmore wanted the caddy there to make sure he’s not doing anything stupid, not just to hold his clubs. Or how Kenny Powers had Stevie Janowski to do all his runnin’ around, day to day bullshit for him.
But Chief cut me off at the start of the convo and asked me to restart it and evidently started filming me. I did not know this. I do not like this. I will get back at him for this. Here’s the interaction:
My brain is constantly trying to think of get rich quick schemes. Hasn’t worked so far because obviously, but I think I’m onto one finally. Chief didn’t ask for my consent to film me and proceeded to blast me on the internet. It was basically revenge porn. A quick google search says so:
So before I hire a manager/brain, I need a lawyer so I can sue Chief. Sue his goddamn pants off. The funny thing about Chief is that nobody really knows anything about him. He’s an enigma. He has all these friends he always talks about that none of us have ever met. Kinda like Kramer and Bob Sacamano. But apparently he has some money. Went to an east coast prep school, owned a house and his own business, the whole nine yards.
So if you’re a lawyer and want a quick payday yourself, shoot me an email. We’ll take him for all he’s worth which could be a lot of money. I’m emotionally distraught over this video getting into the public’s hands.
REQUIREMENTS:
1. must be willing to work pro bono and make sure I don’t open my mouth during the entire lawsuit, that’s it