The Top 15 Characters From 'The Office'
As most of you already know, NBC's hit "show" The Office is one of my favorite pieces of art ever created by mankind or deities. I put "show" in quotes because it's far more than just that (duh) — it's a lifestyle, culture, and most importantly, it's a personality trait. Since I love every aspect of the show so freaking much and ranking the characters based solely on my love for them would be next to impossible (eeeek…I'm stressing just thinking of that task), I decided to just rank them in alphabetical order.
1. A.J. (Holly's boyfriend from the Nashua branch)
I had my fair share of doubts about A.J., especially when my spirit animal and favorite TV character of all time, Michael Scott, started expressing disdain for him. But when it was all said and done, A.J. ended up having a name that was undeniably early in the English alphabet.
2. Abby (Kevin's future stepdaughter)
In my opinion, the letter A in "Abby" was the key factor in earning her the silver medal in this competition, but the subsequent B also played a strong role.
3. Alex (Pam's friend at art school)
Several critics referred to Alex as "boring" and "forgettable," but after really analyzing and examining different characteristics of him, specifically the letters of his first name, I felt the need to put him in my top 3.
4. Andy Bernard
Andy contributed more to "The Office" than almost any other character, but it was the creativity and naming skills of his fictitious parents that landed him a strong 4th place showing.
5. Angela Martin
No caption necessary.
6. Astrid Levinson (Jan's baby)
Despite being an infant child with limited speaking roles and appearances in the show, Astrid Levinson ended up in my top five, mostly thanks to a strong start to its first name.
7. Bandit (One of Angela's cats)
I remember thinking to myself, "there's no way this silly cat will ever make one of my top 20 lists" when it was originally named "Garbage" by Andy. But after Angela decided to change the kitten's name to "Bandit," it immediately entered my radar.
8. Barbara Keevis (Michael's grandmother)
I know, I know. I'm probably biased with this ranking because she's related to my favorite TV character of all time (sue me), but you can't tell me that the "Ba" that headlines her first name doesn't make her a top 10 candidate.
9. Bert California
I don't think it's a surprise to anyone that Robert California's alphabetically superior son, Bert, showed signs of being a possible top 10 finisher from the very beginning.
10. Billy Merchant* (Former building owner of Scranton Business Park)
*Billy is being investigated for having the government name William.
11. Bob Vance (Vance Refrigeration)
The lovable husband of Phyllis made all the right moves throughout the entire series to secure him a top 15 spot, right between the likes of Billy and Brandon.
12. Brandon (Val's ex boyfriend)
With a name like Brandon, it's no surprise that the former love interest of one of the warehouse employees in Season 8 was able to earn a top 10 spot on at least one type of list that ranks The Office characters.
13. Brenda Matlowe (Dunder Mifflin Corporate Trainer)
When Brenda Matlowe appeared in the Season 2 "Booze Cruise" episode and it was revealed that her name was Brenda, I knew she had strong potential to do very well in an alphabetical ranking of "The Office" characters. My intuition was proven correct as she was able to maintain the name Brenda for the remainder of the series and secure a top 15 ranking.
14. Brian (film crew boom operator)
I'll be honest —when Brian was first introduced in season nine, I (and several other Office fanatics in my private message board) initially misheard his name as Ryan with an R. Nothing can compare to the shock I felt, as a passionate alphabetizer, when I realized his name actually began with a letter that's a whopping 16 spots ahead of R in the modern alphabet. I get goosebumps just thinking of that moment of clarity.
15. Broccoli Rob (Andy's college friend/acapella teammate)
If you made it this far then you almost certainly didn't read all of the captions, so I'll just take this time to ramble to nobody about how this was the dumbest fucking shit I ever wasted my time writing, which is saying a lot, and I hate myself for doing this.