Barstool New York Comments of the Week - Presented By ImTough Again
imtough: Commenters are dying, KFC. What would you have me do?
KFC: Endure, Master imtough. Take it. They’ll hate you for it, but that’s the point of imtough, he can be the outcast. He can make the choice that no one else can make, the right choice.
imtough: Well today I found out what imtough can’t do. He can’t endure this. Today you get to say “I told you so.”
KFC: Today, I don’t want to.
[pauses for several moments]
imtough: Commenters are dying, KFC. What would you have me do?
KFC: Endure, Master imtough. Take it. They’ll hate you for it, but that’s the point of imtough, he can be the outcast. He can make the choice that no one else can make, the right choice.
imtough: Well today I found out what imtough can’t do. He can’t endure this. Today you get to say “I told you so.”
KFC: Today, I don’t want to.
[pauses for several moments]
KFC: But I did bloody tell you.
Deep down, lurking somewhere in my lower intestines, I think I always knew this day would come… That I’d be called upon once again… I wanted to believe that my fellow commenters would follow my lead, take the COTW template I so artfully laid forth and carry on my legacy week after week after week… Sadly, my grand vision has yet to be realized… a great many have tried but the majority failed… failed us all… Over the last few months, these eyes have seen too many no name commenters, too many bland regurgitations of comments with zero original content, too many lackluster performances unworthy of being called COTW. Thus, I have been summoned from my cave / mom’s basement to resurrect this once mighty blog… I’ve added a few new features this time around… maybe you’ll enjoy them, maybe not, maybe fuck yourself…
Awards:
“imtough rising star award” – @lenbiasdandruff… a true 180 by this guy… the inaugural winner of the dizzy cunt award, he’s since transformed himself into one of the most reliable commenters in the game… I particularly enjoyed this one from a Philly blog on Monday about Mo & Smitty’s Madden game – How many of his West Elm throw pillows did he have to move for you to be able to sit down?
“imtough dizzy cunt award” – @valbroski… what a giant, hemorrhoid-filled loser… constantly informing us that he agrees with me but still downvotes me… must be frustrating to experience so much cognitive dissonance on a daily basis bro… no worries though, your automatic downvotes are easily cancelled out by my own upvotes…
“imtough insult of the week award” – I’m actually retiring this award as all of the good ones have already been used… plus it’s not a good look to insult the top dog, makes you appear envious and petty…
NY Blogger of the week: Well, this is a tough one…so many to choose from… Guess I’ll give it to KFC for making his triumphant return from neck / penile enhancement surgery… He takes heat for his lack of athletic ability but he’s not here to be Bo Jackson… Good to have you back lil’ buddy… although, not everyone agrees with me…
by claycuckolds on September 24, 2013 at 10:29 am
Your a fag. Legit wish malpractice killed you.
by mikec2k3 on September 24, 2013 at 10:41 am
Too bad your fingers still work and we still have to read your crappy blogs. Please go get a worse injury next time.
Worst Comments of the Week: we all come up short now and again, even the great imtough… learn from it, move on, and come back stronger next time… maybe these will help us better appreciate the top comments…
3. by thedarkone on September 23, 2013 at 4:41 pm
jersey shore blows. sandy destroyed it and now a fire. the place is awful.
Look, everyone knows the shore is full of disgusting fat bodies, but this struck me as unnecessarily insensitive and uncalled for…
2. by twentytwo on September 25, 2013 at 4:52 pm
roughly 5000 beat off sessions in 13 years, lubed it up once in my career
FYI – You’re doing it wrong… along with the 75 lunatics who upvoted this…
1. by maria p. ingram on September 25, 2013 at 5:29 pm
my friend’s step-mother makes $86 hourly on the laptop. She has been fired from work for six months but last month her payment was $12512 just working on the laptop for a few hours. that site.. http://xurl.es/wl3vo
This queef can post spam 10 times a day but I’m the one who gets banned?…
Top Comments of the Week:
Since Pres still refuses to acknowledge COTW, I had to recognize this comment from the Boston site…
by sweetbutterylou on September 24, 2013 at 9:38 am
Pres, the team is flush with young talent like Diego Fagundez, Andrew Farrell and Kelyn Rowe. They are holding down the fifth and final playoff spot in the Eastern Conference. WHAT IS IT GOING TO TAKE TO GET A REVS BLOG ON THIS SITE!?!?!?!!?
Hysterical, assuming he’s joking, which I’m 99.9% sure he is… are those even real Revolution players?… not that anyone would even notice…
And now your top 10 NY comments of the week…
10. New York Post Does Expose On The “New” Trophy Wife
9. Breaking Bad Texting Spoiler Prank
7. Big Freedia And 350 People Twerking In NYC Set The World Record
Why are Hispanics so cocky and obnoxious?
5. Grading The Mariano Rivera Gifts
4. Utah Bans Porn, Punishable By 30 Days In Jail For First Offense
3. Time To See What All The Fuss Is About With The Cronut Craze
2. The Worst Traits Of All 50 States
And the comment of the week goes to…
1. Chinese Dude Growing A Nose Out Of His Forehead To Replace His Injured Nose
Updated COTW blogger power rankings: 1. imtough, 2. everyone else, 3. Mullet Keith…
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Now, this is how you do it boys… try not to fuck it up again…
p.s. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t question my life and its purpose after drawing a penis on batman…