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The Guy Who Found the Terrorist In His Boat Says He Doesn't Want Any Money To Get A New One...He's Got A Canoe In the Garage


WATERTOWN PATCH Dave Henneberry says he never saw Dzhokhar Tsarnaev’s face. In an interview with WCVB-TV, the Watertown homeowner who stumbled on the Boston Marathon bombing suspect in the boat in the driveway says the sequence of events was not at all what we’ve been hearing since Friday night. Henneberry said it all started when he had noticed two of the boat’s roller pads had fallen to the ground. Henneberry went out to check the pads.So while everybody believes Henneberry went out to the boat because he saw blood, he says that is not true. “There was no indication of anything.” He says he went to garage to grab a stepladder to peer through the shrink-wrap over the boat.Then he saw blood.”A good amount of blood.” Then he saw a body. He couldn’t see the face. He didn’t look at the face.”I didn’t waste any time. I didn’t ask him if he wanted a cup of coffee; I was out of there,” Henneberry said. “I’m an incidental hero,” Henneberry said. “I wasn’t out on the prowl, I was out to see my boat and I stumbled across this thing.” How does he feel about the groundswell effort to buy him a new boat to replace the bullet-riddled one?”It makes me feel wonderful … but it’s [only] a boat. There are people who have lost lives and limbs. I’d rather the money goes to the One Fund Boston.” After all, he said, “I’ve got a canoe in the garage.”

Love this fucking guy. Love how he says he doesn’t want a dime for the boat because people lost lives and limbs. Don’t worry about Dave Henneberry people. Bro has a canoe in the garage.  Has anybody ever deserved a super Yacht more than this guy? Boats N Hos everywhere. I’m talking Dave Henneberry should be big pimpin it all over Boston Harbor. Just steamrolling over Dr. Creepy making him abandon ship while his trophy wife climbs aboard and parties on the SS Henneberry. That’s how this story should end. Headphones for everybody!

PS – Yup it’s official. Dave Henneberry has joined my “I Don’t Fuck Around” team. Dave Henneberry, the Fox Reporter from Yesterday, Uncle Ruslan, and Gleeson. Hey world we’re coming for that ass.