“4 Year Old Opens Lemonade Stand To Raise Money For Little Sister’s Cancer Treatment/Santa’s Travel Expenses/The Easter Bunny’s Orthopedic Surgery” – newspaper headline from anywhere in the country without a division 1 college football team.
“4 Year Old Opens Lemonade Stand To Raise Money To Buy Out The Fucking Bum Coach Who Is 6-9 (NOT nice) And Recently Blamed His Team’s 31-16 Blown Lead On Improper Fucking Hydration” – newspaper headline in Seminole country.
TALLAHASSEE - You have heard of that new-old proverbial phrase, right?
When Florida State football gives you lemons, make lemonade to help pay for Seminoles coach Willie Taggart’s $17 million buyout.
That’s what four-year-old Grayton Grant did early Sunday, setting up a “Free Willie” lemonade stand outside of his grandmother’s Tallahassee home and raising $241 in just under three hours.
Absolutely savage. I’ve heard of “start em young” before, but that’s normally like, some toddler in an FSU jumpsuit yelling “Fug Da Gators!” or some phrase his parents taught him while they film him to upload to Facebook. The Noles got this 4 year old knowing contract financials and running a for-profit business to acquire ownership equity back from the coach.
Grayton charged $20 per cup, with one customer donating $100, before running out of lemonade in the sunny, 90-degree weather.
Grayton’s father – FSU graduate and Platinum Chief Daniel Grant – teamed up with his son. He matched the total and stroked a check for $482 to Seminole Boosters, Inc.
Little dude even wrote his formal letter to the board on a damn typewriter, complete with his John Hancock at the bottom.
The check – earmarked for “Taggart Buy Out!” – was accompanied by a formal typewritten letter signed by Grayton to Seminole Boosters, Inc.
It explained that “I am tired of losing football games and being made fun of at school for being a Seminole fan. At four, I am already starting to gravitate towards the color orange. You don’t want that for an innocent kid like me….”
The letter closed with “I hope this helps other Noles fan (sic) have hope that we can once again have a football team and program to be proud of!”
Grayton’s signature, though illegible, was made with an orange marker.
I’ve been out of the CFB game for a bit since hiring Jack Mac to run the show, but it’s great to see that nothing has changed when it comes to crazy ass college football fans. Still willing to do things like exploit their 4 year old children in the name of a new coach.
“I was sitting there last night watching the game – and I was complaining, complaining and complaining,” said Grant, whose annual booster level is the second-highest behind Legacy Chief ($25,000 giving amount). “I talked to Grayton about it. This was all in fun, for sure, but a person can’t complain and not try to pitch in and help fix it.
“We had fun doing it.”
Grant, known for his emotional, passionate social media posts about his beloved Seminoles, and his family plan to be in their Doak Campbell Stadium suite Saturday to cheer for FSU against Louisville. Kickoff is 3:30 p.m.
Safe bet to say this kid knows more about football contracts and football in general than whoever agreed to give Willie Taggart this contract in the first place.