The Wonton Don And Myself Will NOT Be Clapping Alien Ass Cheeks After Alienstock Deemed 'Possible Humanitarian Disaster'

Buzzfeed: A festival associated with the viral “Storm Area 51, They Can’t Stop All of Us” Facebook event has been canceled after organizers said they foresaw a “possible humanitarian disaster” akin to the infamous Fyre Festival.

On the official Alienstock website, organizers promised “amazing surprise performances” by headliners, “many of whom can’t be named due to festival radius clauses.. but we’ve been contacted by huge names wanting to play for the crowd!”

The event was to be set in Rachel, Nevada — population 54 — a desert town near Area 51 popular with alien-seeking tourists.

Everyone saw this coming the second ‘Alienstock’ was announced, but this news blows especially hard due to the fact that the Wonton Don and myself planned to travel to the desert Sept 18-20th for this ‘ONCE IN A LIFETIME FESTIVAL’.

If you look past the typos on the parking pass, musical performances never being announced, and the fact that a rural town of 54 was going to host the largest gathering of people since the Chicago Cubs World Series Parade … this music festival had every chance to be THE biggest event of the decade.

Now that the festival is canceled Donnie and I are out a non-refundable $130 on a parking spot/campsite in the middle of the desert, with no music festival to film. Now the plan is to drive out to the site and see if there are any patriots willing to rush a military base interesting people out there.

The trip won’t be a complete waste because the plan is still to travel below the streets of Vegas, and meet the mole people that live under the Vegas strip.