How Many More Championships Does Canada Get To Win Before We Start To Consider It An Act Of War?
Over the last few days I’ve been seeing quite a few Canucks out there bragging about how Canada now owns the NBA Championship and the Women’s US Open Championship. Obviously they’re just lashing out because they’re upset they haven’t won a Stanley Cup since before Justin Bieber was born, but I still don’t like it. Canada is like our little brother and you never want to lose to your little brother, regardless of whatever game you’re playing.
The good news here is that I think they grabbed the two easiest championships they could have so far. It was pretty much a cheat code to bring Kawhi to Toronto for that one season but now that he’s in LA? The Raptors won’t win another championship for at least 20 years. And then Bianca Andreescu at the Women’s US Open Championship? Not to take anything away from her tournament, but Serena Williams just doesn’t win Grand Slam titles anymore. She lost the 2018 Wimbledon final in straight sets. She lost the 2018 US Open final in straight sets. She lost the 2019 Wimbledon final in straight sets. And then she lost the 2019 US Open final in straight sets. So if you play Serena for a Grand Slam final these days, you win.
As far as everything else goes? Well we know for a fact that Canada has never and will never win a Super Bowl. I think it’s pretty safe to assume that they won’t be winning a World Series. The Ottawa Senators stink. The Edmonton Oilers even with McDavid stink. The Vancouver Canucks stink. The Montreal Canadiens stink. The Winnipeg Jets are probably going to end up trading Patrik Laine over the course of the next year or so. But if somehow the Calgary Flames and/or Toronto Maple Leafs are able to weasel their way into the Stanley Cup Final one of these next few years? All I’m saying is that it might be time to start thinking about war.
Again, I’m fine with them having the NBA Championship for just this year because it won’t happen again for decades. And I’m fine with the Women’s US Open championship because that’s just what happens when you play Serena in a final. But how many more championships do we let them have before it stops being cute? Because I think we’ve reached capacity already.