Jon Gruden Did The Cal Ripken Lap Last Night And It Was Awesome

You have to be the world’s biggest asshole to not love Jon Gruden. I’m all gas no brakes on Jon Gruden football teams. Sometimes when I can’t sleep at night I like to think about what it would be like to play backup QB for Jon Gruden. And then I sleep a sound 8-9 hours because I’m filled with Joy and At Peace. That’s why I love taking this lap even though it’s probably a stretch for week 1. Probably. Usually we save laps for the big stuff but then again I’m not sure if a Week 1 win can get bigger for a coach than Gruden last night. All that bullshit to lose some draft picks and get dragged every fucking day when you’re doing press conferences in the cages?

Then I think you can make a case that Jon Gruden had no choice but to take a full lap with full handshakes and hugs.

Just don’t be surprised if Cal Ripken Junior thinks you’re a pussy for pulling the trigger week 1 when he waited 18 years.