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Well At Least The Miami Dolphins Tailgates Look Fun!

All the NFL talk coming out of Miami these days has been negative. The franchise hasn’t been relevant in eons, the team stinks, and the players don’t want to be there anymore.

However, there is another side to all this that those of us not witnessing the day-to-day seem to forget. All those Dolphins fans going to those games are still in Miami for those games. Sure those games are more likely to result in a 50 point bloodbath loss like yesterday than a Dolphins win. But the reason you go to an NFL game is not to watch the game. You watch the game in the comfort of your own home on your 100 inch HDTV with surround sound and the Red Zone Channel once the game becomes a blowout. You go to football games to party at a tailgate. And if you are tailgating at a Dolphins game, that means you are partying in sunny Miami before, after, and if we are being honest probably during the game, which appears to be a hell of a lot more fun that what we are doing here in New York. Actually I’ll quantify that as New Jersey, since I think the good people of Buffalo are having just as much fun putting each other through flaming tables. But the highlight of a typical tailgate at the Meadowlands is someone bringing steak tips to grill and being drunk enough to not feel cold or pain by 11 AM. However the good folks in South Beach are watching fine young ladies expressing themselves through the universal language of dance, showing off their NFL-class athleticism using nothing but a pole in a concrete base, and making balloons disappear like a goddamn magician during a beautiful day, just as Papa Bear George Halas and the fellas would have wanted it to be when they gave birth to this beautiful league 100 years ago.