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Mexican Joint Offering Free Burritos To Any Customers Who Experienced Bloody Diarrhea

free-ricos

From August: The number of people sickened in the “bloody diarrhea outbreak” in Maricopa County has reached 74 in the weeks after the outbreak, according to a county health department official. County health department workers believe the outbreak stems from E. coli at a Federico’s Mexican Food location. The department announced the outbreak on August 2, after 11 cases had been reported. A week later, that number was up to 52 people. Now, county health department spokeswoman Jeanene Fowler confirms 74 reported cases. Twenty-three of those people were hospitalized. The outbreak only came from one Federico’s location — the one in Litchfield Park — and health officials attribute it to a certain kind of E. coli bacteria: E. coli O157. That restaurant location voluntarily closed.  According to a lawsuit filed on behalf of one of the people sickened, a man named Bryan Clayton ate at the location on July 27 and 29, and was subsequently hospitalized on August 1 with “grossly bloody bouts of diarrhea.” Clayton had chicken on both occasions, first in tacos, then in a burrito, according to the lawsuit. 

YesterdayNow that the dust has settled from the “bloody diarrhea outbreak,” Federico’s Mexican Food will be offering free burritos on Monday. You can get your burrito at only one location — the one where Maricopa County health officials believe an E. coli outbreak sickened 74 people, who ended up with the aforementioned bloody diarrhea. The company apparently hired the “Queen of Clean” — some sort of TV personality who cleans things — as a “cleaning consultant” for the restaurant. She’ll be there for her free burrito, too. She created a video explaining how she bleached the shit out of everything in the restaurant, so everything should be good now:

This is fucking dangerous territory for the world of Mexican restaurants. This sets a very precarious precedent for other franchises and chains. Like if you’re gonna start handing out free burritos every time someone has explosive diarrhea after eating Mexican, restaurants everywhere are gonna be taking a bath. Taco Bell would be out of business. They would just go ahead and cut the price of burritos in half because it essentially becomes a 2-for-1 situation. One burrito for diarrhea, one burrito free. And then the free one gives you diarrhea too so you get another free one? Its like Burrito Diarrhea Inception. May never have to pay for Mexican food ever again.

Bottom line is every time you eat Mexican you are risking your asshole’s safety. Whether its E Coli or otherwise, you’re risking bloody diarrhea. You should have to sign a waiver every time you eat it. Otherwise every Mexican place is gonna go out of business offering free food to make up for pooping.