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People Complain About Flirty the Mini Horse on a Plane, and Flirty Fires Back

SourceFirst it was a kangaroo, then an emotional support duck. Now a miniature horse has become the latest unusual animal to accompany a passenger aboard a flight. …

After arriving in Omaha after the 1hr 30min flight, another traveler took video footage of the same woman walking through the airport with her animal.

‘What a time to be alive. GTHO (get the hell out) with this. Where does this pony fit on the plane? Does she get her own row because anyone sitting in hers, it’s going to be tight!!!’ the airline customer wrote beneath the clip.

While passengers are still stunned by the sights of miniature horses trotting on board aircraft, they’re set to be much more common given new guidelines provided by the federal government.

Did Old Balls do it again, or did Old Balls do it again? Sometimes I feel like I get a little ahead of the game when it comes to predicting the worst in human behavior will bring about the downfall of civilized society. Then there are times like this when it takes all of two weeks for me to be proven right:

Mini horse 2

Naturally, when this story went viral over the weekend, people two weeks behind the curve took to the social medias to complain about air travel being turned into Noah’s goddamned Ark. About how you can’t take one set of teeth’s worth of toothpaste onto a plane or a carry-on bigger than a Dora’s backpack and if, God forbid, your check in bag weighs  over 50 pounds you’ll be throwing clothes in the trash because there’s nothing in there more expensive than what they’ll charge you. But if you want to subject your fellow passengers who’ll be jammed into a small metal tube at 30,000 feet to a smelly, flea-infested 100 pound barn animal, be our guest. Enjoy your flight!

Well Flirty the Mini Service Horse is one member of the Equus genus who’s not taking the ridicule lying down. She’s firing back at her critics as fast as her hooves can Tweet:

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Got it? Educate yourself. Flirty is not there for emotional support. She’s there to serve. No different than a seeing eye dog. In fact, it’s exactly the same thing, even though Flirty’s owner seems to be perfectly functional and able-bodied. Whatevs. And if you’d prefer not to be crammed into a seat next to her for a four hour flight, you’ll have to just suck it up, snowflake. Mini horse owners have rights. The government says so. Take another flight. Or the bus. Or walk for all anyone cares. And if you’re unhappy about it, you’re just being Ableist. So shut yer hole.

I hate to be right all the time, I really do. Especially about where I can see this heading. Because it’s a matter of time before someone sues for the right to travel with Service Skunks, Support Hippos and Comfort Moose. And they’ll win. You heard it here first. I might never fly again.

P.S. I’m issuing the same disclaimer as last month by saying none of the above applies to Li’l Sebastian. RIP, you majestic beast.