Man Gets Part of His Wang Amputated After He Treats His Penis Cancer with Rubber Bands
Source – A man needed part of his penis amputated after he ‘strangulated’ it with a rubber band to try and stop a cancerous tumour from growing.
The 65-year-old patient went to hospital because of pain in his genitals and doctors discovered he had been trying to treat a skin cancer with a piece of elastic.
By the time they removed the rubber band in surgery it had cut into the skin and damaged the tissue.
They called the incident ‘a rare emergency’. … One expert told MailOnline using the band was ‘certainly not sensible’ and that men often try to cure health problems themselves when their penis is concerned, but they should overcome the embarrassment and see a doctor as soon as possible.
Doctors at Koto Hospital in Tokyo, Japan, treated the man, who was also having dialysis treatment because of kidney failure.
He had been suffering pain in his penis for two months, although it is unclear for how long the elastic band was on there.
When they examined him, the doctors found what they described as ‘a penile tumor in a shape of cauliflower… around the glans [head of the] penis’. …
In what appears to have been a desperate attempt to stop the cancer spreading, the Japanese patient had strapped the elastic band around the width of his penis at least twice.
There’s one black and white, hard and fast, inviolable rule of comedy. And it’s that cancer is never funny. Unless it’s cauliflower shaped penis cancer that a grown man tries to treat on his own with elastics. Then it’s kind of a gray area.
But I’m not here to have fun at the expense of this poor, hapless, rubber-banded, vegetable tumor-dicked older Japanese gentleman. He’s suffered enough and no good can come from our mockery. I’m here as more of a Public Service Announcement.
No matter your age and what is wrong with your penis, get it checked out. “Embarrassment” about your dong is so 1950s. It’s a concept that should’ve gone away the first time the nightly news was leading off with stories about a 50-year-old President getting blowjibbers while talking to world leaders on the Oval Office phone. With the first commercials for Dr. Porkenheimer’s Boner Juice running at 1:00 in the afternoon while you’re watching football with your family. With the invention of free, unlimited wangs available on a device in your pocket.
More to the point, this guy and all of us need to come to grips with the fact there is literally nothing left that should “embarrass” us in front of medical professionals. Everyone knows someone who works or has worked in the medical field. And to have spent any time in a hospital means you have heard all sorts of unimaginable stories. Most of which involve people with things stuck up their butts. Once you’ve dealt with an ER patient with a champagne bottle, a Yankee Candle or a Barbie doll wedged up inside their sphincter, you’re certainly not going to think less of a guy with cauliflower cancer on his babymaker through no fault of his own. Those doctors and nurses are just going to treat you like they would anyone else in need of care.
So if that’s you, you’re feeling self-conscious about your penis cancer, my advice to you is: Don’t be. Get over yourself. It’s just a dick tumor. Don’t self medicate with rubber bands, no matter how much it seems like they’ll do the trick. Seek medical help right away. If this blog saves just one penis from getting partially amputated, it’ll have been worth it.