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Barstool New York Comments of The Week Presented By Tummystix

I’m going to start this comments of the week off by saying that I’m not sure if there will or will not be an editor’s note, but for the record I was hammered drunk during any and all e-mails I sent to KFC.  With that out of the way, I gotta say doing the comments of the week this week really made me reflect on my life.  I realized I’m a 19 year old college kid who relates more closely with 35 year old men that use the stool as an escape from their shitty lives than I do to my friends or roommates.  Whatever, even as I’m typing this I’m realizing none of you probably give a shit so let’s just get to it.  I don’t know how some of you keep your jobs seeing as you comment on literally every single blog posted, but you people can be funny as hell; except for when there’s a movement and it’s all you comment about i.e. dell nudes, renee and sales guy, marathon money etc. That shit is just annoying. But anyway, without further ado, here are your comments of the week.

P.S. – Neil, miss you buddy.

The Jets Might Be The Worst Franchise In All Of Sports

by mydogstubeofredlipstick  – Will that shoulder injury have any affect on his ability to push a lawn mower?
- You think when mowing his lawn, which I’m assuming he does by himself for genetic reasons, Sanchez just walks into the mower and falls down? Probably not, but I liked creating that scenario in my head.

Breaking Bad “Confessions”

by scoopcity17 – If you watch the VMA’s over Breaking Bad, you probably like the Big Bang Theory.
- I once had a friend who tried convincing me the Big Bang Theory was a funny show.  He is no longer my friend and the Big Bang Theory is not a funny show.
by jennagargles - my coworker at the next cuber over is humming and i’m about to knock him the fuck out
- This summer I had my first real corporate job as an intern. The guy next to me loved to drum his pens on his desk; he’d even toss them in the air every once in a while as if he were an actual drummer. If I had hair on my peaches, I would have told him to cut the shit day one.
by animalman – Nice try PETA. Black people + chicken wings does not = small penises.
- This might be one of the quickest and most foolproof counterarguments ever made.  Just using entire generations of blacks as evidence.  Your move PETA. Your move.
by gus-watab – I’m going to have some fucking words with my Mom today!
- Same.
by tommy-timberlake – damn R kelly has aged like shit
- If you’re white, you’re Ben Affleck. If you’re black, you’re R. Kelly.
by uncle-phil – Fitty shades of Black
- If you read the blog this applies to, which I know you all did since you bums spend half your life on the stool, you’ll realize this is just a perfect comment.
by phoneyhero33 – I only know how to use the Internet for porn, email, barstool
- If some old senior citizen dude ever asks me how to use the internet, I’m teaching him these three things in that order.
by wolfmansbrother – When I walk by Asian families I mutter “one child per couple” just so they know that I know they’re breaking the rules.
- There is a ton, and I mean a TON, of racism on this site.  And I love it, but by far the funniest of it all are the Asian jokes. The switching of the l’s and r’s, family jokes, dogs being consumed for dinner.  Shit just never gets old.
by boogers – I hate it when chicks say “Please stop staring at my breasts”
- On a serious note, why do females get offended when we stare at their tits and ass?  If anything it’s a huge compliment right? Whatever.  I learned at a very young age to stop trying to understand xx brains.
by jpot132 - ironic they released this info on the “I have a dream” anniversary speech? I think not
- After reading this comment, there is absolutely no doubt in my mind that McDonald’s doing this was intentional.  That being said, I need to know if the person who called this shot was a white guy being a sly and funny little bastard or a negro legitimately honoring him.
by animalman – The only time you should be visiting a “stan” is if you’re a soldier who’s mission is to take a few hundred of them out.
- There were a bunch of good ones for this blog.  Like I said before, you average Joe cube monkeys are not afraid to release your inner racism when hiding behind a username.  Went with animalman’s purely for the patriotism.  Army Strong. America.
by bropepitone – Would you say that more or less than 75% of the meals you consume in a given week include some sort of cheese?
- Just a ridiculously random comment, but it got me thinking.  I came to the conclusion that around 80% of my meals do in fact contain cheese.  Fucking weird.
by hashketchum – Kevin strikes me as the type of guy that says “sorry” a lot during sex
- I think what makes comments like this so funny is when the bloggers real name is used.  And the accuracy, that too.
by doesitlooklikeicare – can’t wait to fuck all 4 of your daughters
- Don’t you just love us Kev?
Well that’s it for my comments of the week.  If you’re a stupid person and weren’t able to tell, they were done chronologically.  No way I was ranking them, too lazy for that shit.  Hope you guys enjoyed it, and if you didn’t then fuck you.  I can go back to bed and sleep all day while you sit in your cubes updating spreadsheets and refresh barstool every 5 minutes.  In conclusion, I think tummystixx is going to have to retire from the barstool comments section because far too many people on this campus know who I am and that’s an unsettling thought.  Later.