President George Bush Sr Once Fat-Shamed The Hell Out His Dog By Presidential Memo

This is so fucked up. Did Ranger gain a little weight? Sure. We all do from time-to-time. Hell, I’ve put on a couple of pounds this year that I’m not happy about, but I don’t deserve to be shamed in front of the entire nation. Imagine how Ranger felt when this memo hit his inbox. He must have been taken aback but the betrayal that was out there for the world to see.

Asking everyone in the highest levels of government to take a pledge? Outrageous. All caps too.

“WE AGREE NOT TO FEED RANGER.”

As someone who has worked on presidential security missions, I would NEVER agree to that. “WE WILL NOT GIVE HIM BISCUITS.” If he looks like hes famished and needs a biscuit, newsflash HW, he’s getting that damn biscuit! Imagine not giving this dog a biscuit. It would be biscuit city.

I do understand the next part though. I dont think Ranger should have had unencumbered access to every part of the White House. That’s not safe and is a good change in policy. I would have abided by that regulation because I value Ranger’s safety.

Now, Camp David. Asking children not to give a dog as cute as Ranger treats is like asking them to blow up a hurricane with a nuclear weapon. It simply cant be done. Kids love sharing with dogs. It’s adorable and should be encouraged save for grapes and chocolate which are dangerous for dogs. Everyone knows that. Well, some folks don’t know about the grape piece. It’s true though. Look it up.

Interesting, right? I bet you feel terrible about all those frozen grape snacks. You should. You nearly killed your fucking dog!

Anyway, Mr. President, you cannot ask children to tattletale on someone slipping a treat to your adorable puppy. If the first puppy requires a snack, he gets one. Furthermore, you should not fat shame your dog by saying things like, “he looks like a blimp” even if you qualify such callous remarks by saying “a nice friendly appearing blimp.” It’s unbecoming of the office and I think you know that, sir.

I wish Ranger was still alive because he had that juice like longtime stoolie Lizzo. Thicc boi.