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McDonalds To Start Serving Buffalo Wings Nationwide

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USA TodayMcDonald’s is set to hatch a fast-food menu item in a fast-growing category it wants to own: chicken wings. The world’s biggest fast-food chain plans a limited-time roll-out of its “Mighty Wings” starting Sept. 9 — with a nationwide roll-out to be complete by Sept. 24, says Leslie Truelove, director of marketing at McDonald’s USA. The bone-in wings, breaded and seasoned with cayenne and chili pepper, will be sold through November. The wings will be sold in packs of three, five and 10, starting at $2.99. And customers can choose from nine sauces, ranging from creamy ranch to chipotle barbecue. Ronald McDonald doesn’t want to stay grounded as the snack takes flight in the fast-food industry. By some estimates, wings rank among the fastest-growing category for food-on-the-run restaurants — with sales topping $8 billion in 2012, reports GuestMetrics. That’s up 11% over a year earlier. “Wings is a major move,” says Scott Hume, editor of the BurgerBusiness blog, which broke the news Monday. “It’s like the Colonel adding a cheeseburger.” Mighty Wings will make McDonald’s a “serious competitor” to KFC, Popeyes, Church’s and other chicken chains, Hume adds.

Pass. No way I’m fucking with bone-in chicken from McDonalds. I’d rather eat the Pink Slime McNuggets than do drumstick wings from Mickey D’s. I don’t know why. I just think whatever type of wings they’d microwave in the back there are probably absolutely atrocious. Which is bizarre because I will gladly eat wings from dive bars cooked by Mexican illegals who double as the delivery man. You know what I’m saying? Not like Bobby Flay is in the back of Rathbones or Bar Coastal whipping up some gourmet buffalo wings made from free range chicken. Its like one step above marmot meat. But in my mind those are a delicacy.

McDonald’s on the other hand – the thought of eating bone-in chicken from there grosses me out. Chicken selects? Popcorn chicken bites? All delicious. But the minute you start fucking with dark meat and wing tumors and those stringy black strips inside your wings, its a whole different ballgame. And you know all that stuff is gonna be gross to the max.

That being said, who the fuck am I kidding? The moment I’m back at a McDonald’s drive thru in a blackout, I am 500% ordering a Number 1 and a 10 piece wings. I’m not sure if the thought of combining a Big Mac is delicious or gross or overwhelming. Might even scare me a little bit. But I am for sure going to try it.