So yesterday I wrote this hilarious blog about a town in Wales that decided they were going to install $200,000 anti-sex toilets that would sound an alarm, spray cold water, and automatically shoot open the doors when inappropriate behavior was detected.
I said it as soon as I saw it -- this was a terrible idea. The way they were going to determine that behavior inside the restroom was inappropriate was based on a weight limit. A weight limit! It took me two seconds to find a flaw in this plan. What happens when an overweight woman walks into the bathroom to take a massive dump, and the alarm goes off? She is now caught with her pants around her ankles, getting water sprayed on her, and the door shoots open. Guaranteed six-figure lawsuit, and just a terrible idea.
And someone on that town council must be an avid reader of Ohio's Tate, because just one day later, the installation of these toilets has been CANCELLED.
A council has said plans for public toilets in a Welsh seaside town – with design features to deter vandalism, rough sleeping and sexual activity – were submitted in “error”. Plans for the toilets in Porthcawl’s Griffin Park included weight-sensitive floors that would ensure only one user could be in a cubicle at a time to safeguard against “inappropriate sexual activity and vandalism”. Any such behaviour would trigger alarms and water jets. The design and access statement submitted to Bridgend county borough council also set cubical use time to deter rough sleeping and proposed graffiti-resistant walls and floors. However, Porthcawl town council has since said the plans were misinterpreted and the toilets will be of “traditional construction”.
Credit to me for being right. And talk about a well-crafted backtrack.
The plans for the public toilets were "submitted in error". I'm going to use that the next time I completely mess up. Not admitting fault. Not saying you're sorry. Just saying it was "submitted in error". I'll keep that one in the back pocket for the next time I eat the trash and blog about a fake news report regarding Michigan's quarterback. KMarko, it was submitted in error!
Also I love the spin-zone of telling everyone the benefits these bathrooms were supposed to have if everyone hadn't focused in on the anti-sex toilets. They were going to have graffiti-resistant walls! Don't focus on the fat shaming! The walls are graffiti-resistant! Okay, sounds good. Our mistake for the public outcry.
People of Porthcawl, Wales: NO SEX IN THE BATHROOMS IN GRIFFIN PARK. The plans for the super toilets have crumbled. You guys are on the honor system now.