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John Calipari Talking About Never Leaving Kentucky Has Me Ready To Run Through A Goddamn Brick Wall

I know some Monday’s out there suck. It doesn’t matter what line of work you’re in, you just don’t want the weekend to end. Perhaps you’re coming off a bender. Perhaps you just fucking hate work. Whatever it might be, if you’re lucky enough to be a Kentucky fan, reading this will help more than anything else. John Calipari ain’t fucking leaving.

Oh tie it together with this graphic and I’m running through a brick wall, boner first.

Getting to the second weekend 80% of the time, more wins than anyone else, a title, 40% of the time making a Final Four. Oh and still getting top recruits (the 2020 class is building to be a MONSTER) has me needing to call a hospital for more than 4 hours. Sure, I’d love to see more than 1 national championship in the flukiest event in sports, but I bet Michigan State, Syracuse, Gonzaga, UCLA, Arizona, etc would love to see 1 national title this decade.

There’s no one better to coach Kentucky basketball. There ain’t anything like it in the world. You have to understand the pressure that comes with being the gold standard of college basketball. You have to talk to the idiot fans that expect a title every year. You have to produce results. There’s no one better at that than Calipari.

America should be terrified. 10 more years of this guy? Terrifying. Now, you might say, ‘oh, he’s overrated. He stinks.’ First off, fuck you. Second of all, let me direct you to this, because facts are a pesky thing to annoy someone:

Let’s get this season going already.