Barstool New York Comments Of The Week Featuring NeddyBemis

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OK Stoolies, the moment you have all been waiting for, COTW! Neddybemis here. Below is a picture of me…let’s see if anyone can come up with a good comment that will make the list next week. Be ruthless. Only background you need to know about me, I am without question the most demented Stoolie out there. I’m a cube monkey, I hate my life, and the handicap bathroom at my office has been affectionately renamed the Neddybemis “beat suite”

Now without further ado, COTW in no particular order. However, this week’s winner is definitely  Jimmy – Franchise. He deserves a “ball don’t lie” T shirt.

1.      Does This Look Like The Face Of A Female Inmate Caught Blowing A Male Inmate In A Van?

 

a.       Threesixgumby: I think her fat face ate her eyebrows

 

This is just beautiful imagery. Bravo sir, bravo.

 

b.      Tornopen: Something something racist joke… something something dick covered in fried chicken grease… something.

 

Just defining the stool…racist jokes, cube monkey’s and hating life.

 

2.       50 Yr Old Jordan Dunks On Some Kid At Camp

 

a.       Special Youtube Exemption Norbix: “6 foot 6 black man dunks. News at 11”

 

Definitely a Stoolie

3.      Queens Man Arrested For Stealing Various Trains and Buses 29 Times All Over The City

 

a.       phila21: this is basically tyler perry’s version of catch me if you can

 

I just don’t get Tyler Perry movies. They are all terrible but they kill it at the box office. There are many things I don’t get about black people, but this is definitely number 1.

 

4.       Paris Hilton Can Still Ball

 

a.       jimmy-franchise: looks exactly like my wife! nah just kidding my wife is a fat whore.

 

 

Everyone who reads the stool knows that this is comment of the week. Period. Full stop.

 

 

5.       Does This look like the face of a woman who was arrested for drinking in public and proceeded to slap the cop’s horse?

 

a.       jimmy-franchise: for those of you who are wondering what my wife looks like, look no further than this article right here. and yes i am referring to the horse

More of the same from Jimmy Franchise

 

6.       Manhattan Doctor Offering Cosmetic Surgery In Exchange For Dates

 

a.       mattyg2k: Don’t hate the prayer, hate the game…

b.      wilburham : fucking obamacare, now even doctors cant find gold diggers

Racist jokes and making a completely nonsensical conservative political statement is what Barstool is all about.

 

7.       Breaking Bad Death Pool Update

 

a.       keeponero11ed : Skylar doesn’t piss anyone else off? She almost ruins the show for me her bitch ass attitude jumping in that pool fully clothed GOD i hate her

I completely agree. I fucking hate Skyler. She is worse than that bitch Carmelo Soprano. I still have nightmares about her yelling “TOONNY” No wonder Gondilfini dies young (definitely wasn’t all the coke he did).

8.      Dad Writes An Open Letter To His Daughter Telling Her To Have Really Awesome Sex

 

a.       cantgetthestinkout : One day this guy will be browsing Youjizz and he will stumble across a video of his daughter sitting on a champagne bottle. That is the exact moment when he will realize that he has made a terrible mistake.

Having a daughter is for the birds. She is always going to be a slut, no matter what. With my luck and if Karma has anything to say about it I will have 9 daughters who all want to date guys named Jamal.

 

9.       Ron Burgundy Coming Out With A Memoir In November

 

a.       lloydchristmass : where’d you get this blog? the toilet store?

This speaks for itself.

 

10.   Guess That Ass Natalie Proza

 

a.       Threebets: I dated a Russian girl once…her vagina smelled like Patrick Ewings dick

This is why I love the stool. Imagery at its best.

 

 

11.   Newark Man Arrested For A DUI Says He Wasn’t Drinking And Driving Because He Only Swigged Jack Daniels At Red Lights

 

a.       Claycuckolds: It’s hilarious when a married guy tries to elaborate on pulling out and getting laid. You are a troll from trollville. Go do the dishes. House bitch.

I laughed out loud at “house bitch.”

12.   OK Cupis Study Says Men Like Chicks Who Cheat

 

a.       Happyhustle: Theres a guy in my office and when he shits, his ass is so big that he leaves shit stains on the back of the toilet seat. EVERY FUCKING DAY. Im considering shitting in a bag, and leaving on his desk just to return the favor.

All cube monkey’s will get this one. Guy should be put to death.

 

13.   Butt Kissing Flasher Offering Women 200 Bucks To Kiss Their Butts

 

a.       tornopen : El Pres, Where is the marathon money? If we don’t get answers by Friday August 23 @ 5pm, we will file charity fraud complaints with the Attorney General of Massachusetts office. While I personally doubt you are doing anything dishonest, you still owe us answers. You have 8 days and 4 hours. Use them wisely. This is not publicity you want, charity fraud, especially related to the marathon is not good. Considered the comment section officially hijacked. Tick Tock Bitch.

Without question my favorite part of the comment section is when a stoolie is a complete hardo and pretends like he is some big swinging dick who actually knows anything about anything. We are either cube monkeys working for peanuts or living in our parent’s basement, no more no less. HAAARDO!

 

14.   FBI Investigating Dude Who Pulled His Dick Out On A Plane After Getting Peppermint Oil On It

 

a.       Bosshogg: He should have shoved it in the chick’s mouth and asked, “Is this curiously strong”?

Great imagery again.

 

15.  An Ode To The Scrunch Bikini

 

a.       richiecunningham : beardo is that you? cough twice if KFC has you bound and gagged somewhere

This just feels right