Live EventBig Cat, Rone & The Yak vs. Booze Ponies | Match 75, Season 4 - The Dozen Trivia LeagueWatch Now
Live Event2024 En Eff El DraftStarting Soon
The En Eff El Draft Show | Tonight 8PM ETTUNE IN

Cocaine Possession Charges Against Georgia Southern QB Dropped Because The Coke Was Indeed Bird Poop

A possession charge against Georgia Southern quarterback Shai Werts has been dropped after police determined that there was no cocaine in a substance that Werts claimed was bird poop. Authorities in Clinton County, South Carolina, pulled Werts over for speeding on July 31. When they approached the car, police saw a substance on the hood of Werts’ Dodge Charger that tested positive for cocaine in tests conducted in the field.

“Upon a thorough review of the report, the dash camera and the body camera, Deputy Solicitor Al Eargle and I made the charge should be appropriately dismissed, Solicitor Rick Hubbard said in a statement. “The charge lacks prosecutorial merit and the evidence is insufficient for the State to proceed. The charge was officially dismissed on Thursday, August 8, 2019.”

“What’s the white stuff on the front of your hood, man?” the officer can be heard once Werts was put in a police car.

“Bird ****,” he responded.

“That ain’t bird ****,” the officer responded.

“I promise you that is bird doo-doo,” Werts said.

“I promise you that it’s not, because I just tested it and it turned pink,” the officer replied.

“You can see it on the windshield,” Werts said.

Whoopsie daisy! Classic mix-up here. White substance caked onto the hood of a car…what else could it be except for cocaine?!

I have a ton of respect for the police, but there needs to be repairations for this kid Shai Werts. His name tarnished publicly, his scholarship was put in jeopardy, and he very easily could’ve been suspended for the opening game against LSU. All because some coked out bird thought it would be funny to take a shit on his car. That isn’t right. There were three officers that I saw in that video and not one of them was like “hey guys, I don’t think people typically conceal their cocaine by having it caked on to the front of their car”. Are you really that desperate to lock someone up for cocaine possession. I mean, maybe go for a bigger bust than the half a milligram that tested as positive. I mean there is apparently so much cocaine in the area that the fucking WILD LIFE is shitting it out on cars. That would be enough evidence to suggest that there are bigger fish to fry in the area. Maybe write Shai a normal speeding ticket and let him be on his way, then get back on the trail of these birds who are flying higher than a kite.