The time has come, my friends. We’re about to embark on a journey of Ass Greatness. Its time for our first GTA Tournament of Champions. We did just over 26 weeks of voting, and there was a natural breaking point of 8 Asses that won multiple titles. Bear in mind this is the Tournament of Champions, so its the best of the chicks who won multiple titles. For instance, Emily Ratajkowski somehow did not win her matchup. Even though her ass and body are literally perfect, she didn’t make it to the ToC. Here are the 8 seeds in the tourney, based on how long their reign’s lasted. If there was a tie, I took the liberty of judging who had the better ass to determine who gets the higher spot.
**Obvious Note: Ring Girl still refuses to be featured on the site so just save your breath complaining about her.
Number 1 seed: Leanna Bartlett. I think when it was said and done, Leanna won SIX GTA titles. To put that in perspective she won 25% of the titles. She’s like the Celtics of asses. Her run lasted longer than the Heat winning streak this year. The Ass of the Year as far as most rings go.
2 seed: Anastasia Ashley – Anastasia was the one who finally slayed the Ass Dragon that was Leanna Bartlett. She went on to rattle off 4 or 5 of her own GTA Titles, as well as get Dave Portnoy’s giant beak stuck in between her butt during a surfing lesson. Thats what happens when you’re a GTA Champ. You get those kind of perks
3 seed: Floppy Tesouro - Star of Argentina’s Dancing with the Stars and a Reef Girl. When discussing asses all you really need to say is “Reef Girl” and you know someone is legit.
4 seed: Sofia Vergara - Needs no introduction. By far the oldest chick to compete in the Best of the Best GTA contest. At 40 years old she rattled off 3 straight titles. Her ass is absolutely timeless.
5 seed: Dylan – Dylan has won the past 2 weeks in a row. A victim of circumstance, really. If the Tournament of Champions was 5 weeks from now, she may be on her 7th straight title. Thats how legit her ass is. I couldn’t in good conscience put her in the top portion of the bracket with only 2 W’s. But she will be a DANGEROUS 5 seed. Vergara better watch her ass. We will watch both of them.
6 seed: Jessie Rogers – Jessie Rogers is a Brazilian porn star who looks like a little Irish girl. A strange and fucking awesome combination that resulted in a back-t0-back GTA title run.
7 seed: Galinka Mirgaeva – Galinka put a stop to Vergara’s 3 peat. She whipped out the younger, rounder, smoother over the shoulder ass shot that beat Sofia at her own game. The fact that a chick this hot is a 7 seed just shows you how fucking awesome the year of asses has been so far.
8 seed: Mermaid Amber – The biggest no name of the bunch. Some broad on Instagram with a fucking RUMP that takes pictures of herself in the water and shit. I guess she pretends shes a mermaid? Don’t know, don’t care. Just love her tush.
So lets start it up. #1 seed Leanna Barlett:
8 Seed Mermaid Amber
Vote 1 for #1 Leanna Bartlett, Vote 10 for #8 Seed Mermaid Amber