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Good News: A Strip Club Empire Has Promised To Send Dancers To Area 51

(NYP)–The top adult entertainment company in Nevada is reportedly set to storm Area 51 next month — with strippers.

“Come September 20, we’ll be there,” Ryan Carlson, director of operations at Déjà Vu Services,  told KSNV.

“We know what most Americans know: that strippers make any event better, and this one will be no exception.”

Carlson said Déjà Vu Services is sending about a dozen erotic dancers and the company’s mobile strip club — the “Strippermobile” — to the highly publicized “Storm Area 51, They Can’t Stop All of Us” raid.

The event — which was created on Facebook in early July, and appears to have since been deleted — quickly attracted 1 million users declaring they’d be “going.”

Storming Area 51 is quickly turning into the biggest rager of the year. Already committed to this party in the Nevada Desert: 2 million people, there’s proposals for musical acts by the groups originator, there’s going to be an air show promised by the US Military, and now…STRIPPERS! Also possibly showing…aliens.

Here is the thing though. This is how you know the Government is involved. They’ve tried veiled threats against people promising to storm Area 51. They’ve tried overt threats. They’ve leaked video footage of what it may look like if the Government does react

And yet people are undeterred. They want to see something they’ve never seen before. So the Government is stepping in to deliver just that. To fight fire with fire. Because if the majority of people going to Area 51 are like this guy

Then they probably haven’t seen tits in person before either. So like yeah…there might be aliens over there in that hanger orrrrr….you can look at real tits. You decided.