There Is A Man In China Who Rides The Subway With A Watermelon On His Head And People Are Freaking Out

(Source) A man who likes to put a watermelon on his head before his daily commute has caused a stir in China. While head-down commuters in London may not bat an eyelid at such extravagant headwear, it appears to be a different story in Beijing. The man has been nicknamed the ‘watermelon brother’ by web sleuths who are trying to figure out the mystery man’s identity.

One commuter told the Beijing Morning Post he was freaked out by the man who loves to put on the hollowed-out fruit helmet and reported him to police. “It was so scary last night when I was on the metro,” he said. “This guy was just hanging around on the train wearing a watermelon mask with a beer bottle … apparently he was totally drunk.” “I was scared by this watermelon brother too,” said another passenger. “I posted some pictures of him on Weibo.”

Wait. THIS is scary to Chinese people? This is where they draw the line? What the fuck? Not to be offensive or anything but doesn’t your culture eat dogs? Don’t you guys have weird reality game shows where you kidnap people and pull crazy pranks? I mean you guys still have communism and it’s 2015! But nah, you’re right, the guy who had a leftover watermelon from his weekend BBQ and decided to wear it on his head just to cure his case of the mondays is the freaky one. Jesus Christ China, figure it out. Either you’re the crazy zany Asians or not. This guy is nothing, probably just hates black people and is making a racist joke or something. Hate him for that, but don’t hate him for being a little strange. That makes you a hypocrite.