26 Passengers Get The Shits On 13 Hour Flight From South America To Australia

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SMH - Twenty-six passengers on a Qantas flight from Santiago to Sydney were struck down with a gastro intestinal illness midflight on Thursday, resulting in a mass vomiting and diarrhoea episode. A team of paramedics met flight QF28 when it landed at Sydney Airport about 5.15pm on Thursday and treated the ill passengers, who were all part of the same tour group returning to Australia after celebrating World Youth Day last month in Brazil. Three of the passengers were so ill they had to be stretchered off the plane. The teenagers and several of their teachers were experiencing vomiting and diarrhoea throughout the 13-hour flight from Chile to Australia on the Boeing 747-400, which has fewer than 10 toilets on board. NSW Health said their symptoms were consistent with norovirus infection. “It just gradually wore through them all as the flight wore on, and it was 13 hours so it was a very long flight for them,” one passenger said.

You wanna know what the 9th Circle of Hell is? You wanna know what eternal damnation in the deepest darkest depths of perdition is?

Its being one of 26 passengers with a violent case of the shits on a 13 hour plane ride. That is absolutely the worst thing I can ever possibly imagine. Now granted this is a diesel plane with 10 bathrooms, but nonetheless. Being quarantined to the back of a flight with a bunch of South Americans shitting their pants 30,000 feet in the air for half a day are some of the worst human conditions I can possible imagine. Fucking musical chairs with the shitters on the plane pooping right on top of other peoples poop and vomit. I’d say by the 3rd hour, my 9th or 10th shit, I’d be praying for that plane to crash. There could be women and children on that plane. It could be a 747 filled with newborn infants and puppies and I’d rather plummet into the side of a mountain than endure 10 more hours of shitting my brains out with a bunch of Chilean diarrhea victims.

PS – Given the circumstances, once you get into that bathroom, you can’t leave, can you? I mean knowing there are 25 other people out there who are gonna be taking up toilet time, I don’t think you can relinquish control of the can. I know its selfish. I know its borderline inhumane to make someone shit themselves in the aisle of an airplane. But when there’s a diarrhea epidemic on a 13 hour flight, its either you or them. Manners and civilization go out the window. Its shit or be shit on. Don’t relinquish that toilet.