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I Think The Chicago Cubs Are Trying To Kill Me

A Play in several Acts.

Acts 1

Act 2…

Actually fuck this stupid play act blog. Who gives a fuck right now. The Cubs stink. I’m livid, you’re pissed and everyone getting paid by Uncle Tom has to be embarrassed. Ticket sales, hot dog vendors, the old ladies at Gallagher Way selling $6 dogs. All of youz and including everyone one of us is overwhelmingly embarrassed and honestly I’m probably even more exhausted.

Idk what to bitch about when it’s the same fucking thing every single goddamn time. Like at what point do we just simplify things and say the bullpen sucks and we don’t have anyone with balls. Or when can we just say maybe Brandon Morrow was a bad idea and Tyler Chatwood’s $13m could be somewhere else. At what time do we actually try to solve this? I’m so confused. It’s a waste of the following windows:


Kris Bryant.



We’re leaving these thundercocks out to dry and it kills me that we don’t do anything about it. I’m actually sick to my stomach.

Normally I’d tell you we have a game tomorrow and it’s time to wake up and smell the coffee blah blah blah but who fucking cares. I’ve seen enough uninspired baseball in my life to know this team is destined to continue to piss me off so I’m just gonna peel off here and get a great tasting less filling miller lite. All that field work on the 16-inch softball tourney has me thirsty as fuck for something that won’t let me down.