Surviving Barstool | Ep. 1-6 Are Now Available On Demand | Ep. 7 Will Be Released on Monday (12/11) at 8PM ETWATCH HERE

I'm Not Puking I'm Just Watching This New Cubs Video About The Bleachers

Cubs – The bleachers have been a part of Wrigley Field since the late 1930s and are as iconic as the ivy, marquee and hand-operated scoreboard. Bleacher fans are a huge part of what makes Wrigley Field special, and Cubs outfielders take the opportunity to connect with these fans every home game. Hear from current Cubs outfielders Kyle Schwarber, Albert Almora Jr. and Jason Heyward about how they interact with bleacher fans and the vibe the bleachers bring to the game.

Listen I pride myself on being a bigger man 99 out of 100 times. It’s part of my world class value system and a big reason why I’m going to let the Cubs get away with this video. I would hate to sit here and pretend this is a direct response to the fact that every 20-40 something year old looking to blow off some steam in the bleachers is absolutely disgusted with how the Mother Ship handled #LigmaBallSackGate. Because then I’d have to address the fact that people are vowing never to go back again. That tourists with stacks of 5 cups or more are getting personal escorts onto Waveland Ave. That peoples’ experiences and opinions have been tarnished indefinitely.

If I weren’t a bigger man I’d continue to sit here and talk about how there’s honestly never been a better time for 11 days away from Wrigley so they can regroup on CupSnake policy and theory. I’d talk about how it’s been an ugly couple weeks and the club needs to rebound without admitting you kinda/completely overreacted and shot your wad on me and Eddie. I’d say this is a perfect time to get that policy figured out. And then I’d probably encourage the Cubs to implement it without scaring all the babes away.

But like I said I pride myself on being a bigger man so I don’t want to rehash any of this. I just want to watch the video and feel all warm and fuzzy because apparently Cubs fans are craving more Hallmark style content?

I didn’t know. All I know is if you want me to believe that the outfielders are tuned in with the bleachers, start putting their friends and family tickets out there. I’d love to get bombed with Schwarber’s cousins.