Live EventGet Ready For NFL Sunday With The Pro Football Football ShowStarting Soon
Black Friday Weekend Sale | 20% Off The Entire Barstool Sports StoreSHOP NOW

Miltons Pimp My Look


Myyyyyyyy GOD.


Time to reload the Miltons machine. Send all sob stories to or and help us help you. And you need to send pictures! If you sent an email without a picture resend with one to be considered.


Today’s Contestant


Reader Email

Hola el pres,
This is my buddy Scotty AKA Fake Jesus. Kids a Masshole townie who terrorizes college campuses visiting all our buddys. He shows up and people instantly ask “Hey Who’s this homeless maniac trying to wheel my girl”.  If you knew the kid you would know he’s the biggest boss on the east coast. He’s been known to wake up in random front lawns. He has a thigh tattoo, that my buddy did prison style while wasted, that says AK (his other nickname) and thats not even how you spell any part of his name.  He typically gets with the biggest swamp donkeys possible but with a knew look he’d be laying pipe like a god damn plumber. 
Help Me Help Him,
Billy Blunt
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars6 Stars7 Stars8 Stars9 Stars10 Stars (170 votes, average: 5.44 out of 10)