A Florida Woman From Ohio Just Wanted To Have Some Sex So She Squeezed Her Husband's Balls So Hard He Can't Walk

[Bradenton Herald] - A 44-year-old Florida woman was charged with battery after she squeezed her husband’s testicles so hard that he “crumpled over and had trouble walking,” according to a Pasco County Sheriff’s Office arrest report.

Deputies say Anastacia Tasch on July 22 approached her husband while he was sleeping on the couch and “without provocation or permission walked over to the victim and grabbed his genitals.”

According to the report, Tasch admitted doing so but that she “did this in a sexual manner because she was attempting to arouse the victim in an effort to have sexual intercourse.”

How about the *ahem* balls on the guy to call the cops after this? I mean here’s your lady trying to spice things up and perhaps roleplay a little dominatrix by squeezing the hell out of your balls. Sure, she went a little too far and made you unable to walk, but she’s trying to get the pipe.

You call the cops? You want to deal with that backlash? Think about what she’ll do to you after she gets arrested. You thought a little ball squeeze to initiate sex was bad, she’s going to stomp all over those nuts. She’s been reading the news most likely

Oh and she’s not just a normal lady. Oh, no. She’s an Ohio woman turned into Florida woman. (h/t Busted Coverage) Not only that but she has a criminal record already!

I’m officially worried for this husband. Like I said if this is what she does when she wants a little bit of sex, imagine what she’ll do when she’s good and pissed off. Probably throw a little dirty talk in there and then boom, your balls are dusted.

Relationship goals, man.