The Wheel...The Printing Press...The Four Loko + Fleshlight "Sex In A Can" Hybrid
Bros, what’s better than chuggin’ Lokos and fuckin’ hoes?
Did you flex so hard you ripped your tank off and yelled “NOTHING” so loud it shook the Boondock Saints poster off the wall of your townhouse?
Hold on just one second. You’re about to have your fuckin mind blown:
A Four Loko can YOU CAN FUCK.
Alcoholic beverage maker Four Loko has teamed up with sex toy company Fleshlight to produce a somewhat deceptive gadget called “Sex in a Can.”
The product, released this week, comes in a red camouflage-patterned can that looks like a Four Loko drink. But unscrew the top, and the 9.75-inch-long cylinder actually contains a pink, flesh-like orifice. The “masturbation sleeve” serves as a replica of the female anatomy and is designed for men to simulate intercourse.
Meme makers Pizzaslime claim to be the catalyst behind what it calls “the orchestration of combining the two legendary brands” for “an innovative and cutting-edge sexual experience.” (NY POST)
I mean their ad asks the EXACT question that we’ve been asking for years, since we were just little mini-bros: “wouldn’t it be cool if we could have sex with a Four Loko?”
pizzaslime- Inspired by the spirit of Steve Jobs and Leonardo Da Vinci we at Pizzaslime embarked on a quest to bring the world an innovative and cutting-edge sexual experience. The result was the orchestration of combining the two legendary brands that are @fourloko and @fleshlight Like most people you’ve probably thought to yourself “Wouldn’t it be cool if I could have sex with a Four loko?” now you can (if you have a penis ) YOU ARE WELCOME WORLD! link in story
Mesopotamians in 3500 BC needed a way to roll clay to construct vessels…so they invented the wheel.
The rapid economic and socio-cultural development of late medieval society in Europe circa 1439 AD created a need for the mass production of informative pieces…so Gutenberg invented the printing press.
In 1805, Oliver Evans needed a way to keep his Strawberry Four Lokos cold so bad he invented the theory for his bro Jacob Perkins to build the first refrigerator.
Now, in the year of our lord 2019, PizzaSlime has made their contribution to the list of great inventions that revolutionized history:
The fuckable Four Loko can.
My only issue is, where’s the Four Loko dildo at? Just because we’re BROS doesn’t mean we’re sexist. We want our girls having the same fun we are, sitting next to us high fivin’ while we’re 4-5 inches deep into the masturbation sleeve of our Four Loko can and they’re getting plugged by a Sour Apple.
What a time to be ALIVE.
PS,
Guess how much it costs lol.
Get it?
via The NY Post, @PizzaSlime, Fleshlight