Plague Is Back, The Squirrelpocalypse Is Upon Us

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July 25 (Reuters) - A ground squirrel found in a Los Angeles-area campground has tested positive for plague, causing authorities to shut down part of the Angeles National Forest for at least a week, according to a public health advisory. Squirrel burrows will be dusted for fleas, which carry the bacteria that causes the disease known as “the Black Death,” authorities said, while more ground squirrels in the area will be tested before campers are allowed back. It was the sixth squirrel since 1995 to test positive for plague in Southern California’s San Gabriel Mountains, including one in 2010, according to the advisory issued on Wednesday. The most recent infected squirrel was trapped on July 16 during routine checks in the park and confirmed to carry the disease on July 23, according to the advisory. Part of the Angeles National Forest was shut down beginning on Wednesday afternoon. The plague was dubbed the Black Death in the Middle Ages, when it was blamed for the deaths of around 25 million Europeans.

No big deal, guys. Plague is back. Been out of the game for a while now but Black Death is coming out of retirement and its using squirrels to do so. If you recall, we discussed the Squirrelpocalypse on KFC Radio over the holidays. How would the human race fare if squirrels turned on us? Benedict Arnold Big Cat said he would abandon the human race and join the squirrels. Well enjoy that you backstabbing motherfucker! Because squirrels got the Plague! Big Cat joining Team Black Death. Seems smart.

To be perfectly honest if the Squirrelpocalypse is here and they’re carrying some Bubonic shit, we’re all dead. But at least I’ll go down arm in arm with my human brethren. If the squirrels and Big Cat wanna fight dirty with this biological warfare, then so be it. But I’ll die with my pride.