In Case You Missed ESPNU's Championship Game Simulcast, Aaron Boone Picked His Nose And Michael Wilbon Talked With His Mouth Full For 4 Hours

Oh fuck I forgot I’m on TV!

Did anyone flip over to this last night? I did a few times and not because I was thinking “I have to hear what Barry Melrose and Jay Bilas think about this football game”, no this was purely watching a car accident unfold in front of your face. I don’t know who greenlighted this idea but it was a fucking disaster. Last year at least they had Van Pelt and Russillo, Tebow and Manziel. Guys who could either crack a joke or give some analysis. This cast had 1/2 of a funny person (Barry Melrose, unintentionally) and 1 football expert (Schlereth, who obviously spent more time talking about green chili and peeing his pants). Just a weird weird group. And if you stuck around long enough you got to watch Michael Wilbon stuff his face in front of a camera for a solid half hour. Just going to town on some type of BBQ completely forgetting he was on national television.

Here ESPN, here are two free ideas for you next year.

1. Interactive betting. Obviously they can’t let you actually wager but if they had it set up like the Sportsbook where you can bet on each play, or where each drive will end up, that would be fantastic especially if you’re sitting watching the game with a group of friends. Lines keep popping up and you can make friendly wagers throughout the game.

2. Frank Caliendo in a room by himself doing all of his voices. I said this last night and I think people thought I was joking, I wasn’t. Tell me you wouldn’t at least check that out. Frank spinning in circles with impersonations throughout the game. Those 2 are free ESPN, next one’s gonna cost you (probably not because you’re not reading this, but I have to talk tough sometimes).

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