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Cubs Lose, Cup Snakes Win

So big news of the day is that LigmaBallsack got fired by the Cubs for going on Eddie’s daily podcast Dog Walk to take us behind the scene of all things Cup Snake. Absolute travesty for a 20 year old kid who is literally just trying to make a few bucks watching baseball but at the same time LigmaBallSack is now a piece of barstool history. So take the good with the bad. FWIW he’s the first Barstool Gold member to start a revolution so keep that in mind next time you submit a witty comment. LigmaBallSack has officially raised the stakes.

ANYWAYS.

There was a baseball game tonight in WRigley but you wouldn’t know becuse we were so busy trying to keep our heads above all this Cup Snake content.

TAKE A LOOK AT THE ANACONDA:

THE ANACONDA MOVES

Terrifying stuff:

But for real don’t fuck with the anaconda

Like that’s the kind of snake the Wrigley security staff should be freaking out over. Not 16oz solo cups that retail $10.75 a pop

Everyone be on the lookout for Cup Snakes, and in the meantime here’s the most sensible take on the internet

Sorry Wrigley Field but at some point you forgot that you’re the drunken friend we like hanging out with every now and then. You got a job and got some success and started taking yourself way too seriously. Like you found Jesus while trying to lose 100 pounds and convince everyone you’re Growing Up.

Unfortunately no one wants to see you grow up. You’ve been the one friend we consistently relied on to get hammered at the drop of a hat and I speak for everyone when I say no one wants to see that change.