Cool Pope Francis Gives The Green Light On Breastfeeding In The Sistine Chapel

VATICAN CITY — Pope Francis baptized 33 infants in the Sistine Chapel on Sunday and told the mothers to feel free to breastfeed them if they cried or were hungry. “You mothers give your children milk and even now, if they cry because they are hungry, breastfeed them, don’t worry,” he said, departing from his prepared text. The written text of his homily had the phrase “give them milk,” but he changed it to use the Italian term “allattateli”, which means “breastfeed them,” and added that they should not hesitate.

It’s come to my attention that there are very few professions in this world that give you the opportunity to see more titties than being Pope does. He’s got topless protesters at the Vatican pretty much every other week, and now he’s getting himself a front row ticket to a peep show during baptisms. Granted, breastfeeding in public is a little weird and seeing a titty under those circumstances isn’t always ideal. But titties are titties nonetheless, and Pope Franky has chicks whipping theirs out for him left and right. His spank bank could easily fill up a 120 GB iPod no doubt. What a rock star.