I Need Death Wish Coffee And I Needed It Yesterday!

(Source) - A U.S. coffee company is claiming to produce the first and last cup of coffee ever needed to kick start your work day. Death Wish, a medium-dark roast coffee blend roasted in Upstate New York, claims to be the ‘most highly caffeinated premium dark roast organic coffee in the world.’ The brand, featuring a menacing black skull and cross bones, says they use coffee beans containing close to 200% of the amount of caffeine found in a typical coffee shop coffee.

Bring it on Death Wish coffee!  Bring it the fuck on!   Like you know how some people complain about getting too jittery when they drink too much caffeine?   Well that’s not me.   I just get awesome.   Writing blogs, selling tshirts, doing calculus, coming up with plots to eradicate ugly chicks from earth etc.   My brain just bounces from subject to subject like I’m on Quantum Leap or something.  It’s truly a sight to behold.  Seriously I’ve invented and forgotten more brilliant ideas when I’m wired on coffee than Alexander Graham Bell ever dreamed off.

So I know what people are thinking.  Hey Pres if you are so awesome with coffee why aren’t you rich yet?  Well 2 reasons.  #1 I’ve developed an immunity to it so it’s almost impossible for me to get a killer buzz anymore and #2 if I drink coffee after 1pm I can’t fall asleep.  So as smart and brilliant as I am in the morning I get equally dumb at night and it all balances out in the end.    This Death Wish shit though may be exactly what I need to take Barstool to the next level.  Either that or coke.