Roberto Luongo Calls It A Career Like The Absolute Legend He Is

Goalies are bizarre breed of humans. Every single one of them. If you know a goalie who comes off as a relatively normal human being, chances are that dude is a serial killer. Anybody who willingly gets hit with flying objects for their occupation needs to have at least a screw or seven loose.

Roberto Luongo was one of the most intriguing of them all. The kind of goalie who is going to make an absolute killing in the media side of things in a couple of years if he decides to go that route. He had the perfect combination of weird brain mixed with self-deprecation mixed with being an unreal goaltender. And that’s the thing that really made him unique. He wasn’t just the funny guy sitting on the bench opening doors and wearing a hat. This is a guy who led his team to game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final. A guy who has won two gold medals at the Olympics. He finished top 5 in Vezina voting 5 times in his career.

I feel like most goalies of that caliber are so goddamn bizarre that you just never hear from them at all. They all have their weird little routines that they stick with and for the most part, those routines involve just being left to themselves. Roberto Luongo managed to still be one of the best goalies in the world while creating a little folk lore legendary character for himself as Strombone.

It sucks that he was never able to get his name on the Cup but I feel like that’s part of the allure to him anyway. If he was a Stanley Cup champion goaltender, that would almost make him too infuriating to like. Because then the man would have everything, and nobody likes people who are perfect. Plus, the fact that he never won the Cup means that he can keep this running bit of his combined championships with Tom Brady running forever.

So it was a helluva career for Bobby Lu, and he hung up the laces in a way that only he possibly could. I’m a little concerned that neighborhood will be without power for a couple of days once those pads end up ripping those lines down. But I guess now that he’s retired, he has more time to fix that anyway. So congrats to Roberto Luongo on the career, and now I guess we can start taking bets on when he makes his first appearance on NHL Network. I’ll set the o/u at American Thanksgiving.

@BarstoolJordie