The Minnesota Vikings Officially Ban All Adults From Getting Autographs At Training Camp

Please excuse my delay on this groundbreaking news as I’m knee deep in a South Carolina vacation community swimming pool drinking mai Thais and miller lites from a converted catchers helmet. Things are going great yes but I’m not up to speed on NFL Central autograph policy. This seems bold. Almost like a league first and that spells trouble for the Minnesota Vikings eBay Boys.

On the other side of the equation is my unborn child and more importantly: me.

My kids not growing up a Vikings fan but for the sake of argument imagine she was and I’m at the camp and she wants an autograph so I’m standing there with her and some guy with a bag full of mini helmets steps on her in the process of elbowing his way into priority status in the guard rail. Instantly, I smash a glass bottle over his head. Idk where it came from but this is my hypothetical so stay with me. My daughters crying. There’s blood everywhere. I’m furious because this 36 year old virgin has jeopardized my daughters safety for a $25 Kyle Rudolph non-authenticated autograph.

I like that the Vikings are taking that out of play entirely. If you listen to red Line Radio you know where we stand on this issue. It’s a united front of criticism. Your memorabilia sucks.