The Conspiracy Theory That Mickey Callaway Confronted A Reporter Yesterday Because He's Trying To Get Fired May Be My Favorite Conspiracy Theory Ever

God dammit Mike Puma, don’t you go ahead and make me fall in love with Mickey Callaway. Sure every single decision he makes in a game these days seems to be a bad one. But a lot of that can be attributed to pretty much every button he presses in the bullpen being a Detonate button.

However, if it turns out Mickey is going full Costanza on the Mets in order to get off of this sinking Titanic while collecting the rest of his salary, I applaud him. Idolize him even because sticking it to the man while still getting your paper is pretty much the most relatable story ever. Hell, this isn’t even a conspiracy theory as much as it is a good idea. All we heard about when Mickey was hired was how he is one of the good guys in baseball and a professional lifer. Poof, less than two years later he’s setting off the latest powder keg of full-blown PR catastrophes for a team that is good for roughly a half dozen any given summer.

In fact, I think once the teams gets back home on Friday to kick off their series with the Braves while honoring the 50th anniversary of the 1969 Mets every single night, Mickey should go Full Costanze and drag the World Series trophy in the parking lot that paved over the field where those Mets celebrated the franchise’s first World Series half a century ago.

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I mean we’ve already heard that Jeff Wilpon loves the fuck out of Mickey and won’t fire him unless the season becomes a fiasco.

And based on every single story or tweet I’ve read from baseball insiders over the last 24 hours, it’s a complete fiasco. So if Mickey needs to commit baseball blaspheme in order to get the fuck away from this doomed franchise while keeping his paycheck and bennies, I say go for it and I’m jealous I can’t do the same as a fan.

Finally here are some tweets that I’m sure have nothing to do with this latest incident or the last 30 years or so of tomfoolery in Flushing.