Ohio - Lorain Police say a homeless man was Life Flighted to the hospital after cutting off his penis. Cops were called to the area of East 21st Street and Access Road Tuesday around noon after an unauthorized man was seen on CSX Railroad property. Officers found the man with his hands and gym shorts covered in blood. He told officers that he had just cut his penis off. According to the police report, he said he tried to use an old rusty saw, but he used a broke bottle when the saw didn’t work. The man told police that “Busch (beer) made me do it.” The man’s penis was found lying on the train tracks nearby. Life Flight was called, and took the man to Metro for treatment. A mental evaluation request was also made with Life Flight.
Busch Beer can be responsible for a lot of things. You can blame Busch for 15 year old kids getting drunk. You can blame Busch beer for the Freshman 15. You can blame Busch for some of the most painful beer shits you’ve ever experienced.
But don’t you dare go around blaming Busch Beer for making you chop your cock off. Dont you dare. It may not be the highest quality beer. But its cheap, it comes in large quantities, and it helps high schoolers and college kids all across the country get laid every night of the week. You bite your goddam tongue next time you think of bad mouthing Busch Beer. You wanna tell me Steel Reserve made you chop off your penis? Fine. I’ve wanted to straight up kill myself sometimes choking that shit down. But not Busch. Leave Busch out of it.
PS – WAY too many severed penis stories these days on Barstool New York. Severed cock…so hot right now…severed cock.