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It Looks Like Pretty Much All Of The Cocaine In The World Was Just Seized In Philadelphia. We're Talking $1 Billion Worth Of Coke

Sooooo looks like we’ve got a little bad news/bad news situation on our hands here.

First up, there’s the bad news for everybody out there who were looking to add a little blow to their weekend schedule. Tough break for those folks because it looks like all of the cocaine in the world now is gone. And especially so if you’re in the Philly area because I’m pretty sure this is the 2nd time now in the last year that there’s been a massive coke bust here. I feel like all of the drug lords out there are quickly going to cross Philadelphia off of their shipping destination lists. Sucks to suck, but maybe you guys can just drink beer and smoke weed like normal adults now.

The second dose of bad news is that it looks like someone is about to die. Well at least someone. My guess would be that multiple people are about to die. $1 BILLION worth of coke just wiped off the market like that? 15,000 kilos? I’ve seen enough movies to know that when things go awry, drug lords aren’t typically the type of people who just chalk it up to bad luck and are compassionate about the fuck up. They’re not the type of people who just say, “oh well, nothing we can do about it”. They’re more of the type of people who are going to go around putting a bullet in peoples’ skulls even if there’s nothing they could have done to control the situation. So when you’re all upset about not being able to do your drugs this weekend, just know that at least you’re not the poor bastard who packed the ship.

Now there is a bit of good news out there. And that’s for the folks like me who don’t dabble in cocaine and will no longer need to deal with coked up jackasses at any point throughout the weekend. As I get older, I don’t find myself crossing paths with too many coke guys anymore but when you do, there’s nothing worse than having to deal with them when you’re just trying to hang out. So yeah. It’s good for anybody who just likes to chill out a little, bad for anybody who likes to partake in some bathroom bumps, and the worst for anybody within reach of whoever’s coke this was.