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Foreskin Friday

I know, I know. I hate being “that guy” who uses clickbait titles and thumbnails, but this is a dog eat dog business, and I’m kind of feeling ferocious today.

For some reason, unbeknownst to everyone (including us), Francis and I decided to film ourselves having an impromptu conversation about the (potentially) gooey and acidic substance that formulates under the penis folds of a particularly unhygienic and uncircumcised man’s foreskin. Common man stuff. Perhaps, it’s a teaser for something longer and weirder. Perhaps, it’s not.

***Because of company policy, I will refrain from posting any pictures or links for visual reference, but I trust your firsthand experiences/imaginations will effectively make due***

While we were mutually mansplaining how women in the sex industry emotionally experience their jobs, we came to the objective conclusion that the ones who solely have to perform tactile sex (hand jobs) typically don’t feel anything negative, or anything at all, about it. I’d imagine it becomes less gross (“eww”) and more monotonous (“ehh”) after a certain amount of reps. Well…

Unless, of course, that dick belongs to an absolute creature of an uncircumcised man who hasn’t cleaned, or lifted up, his foreskins folds in a long period of time. Building off that theory, I’d imagine the Venn diagram of the men who go to rub ‘n’ tugs and the men who are absolutely fucking disgusting is overwhelmingly centralized. So this is, unfortunately, probably a semi common occurrence for professional tuggers, especially the French ones.

***I’d imagine the vast majority of readers have exited out of this by now but I’m going to continue to add a couple more thoughts  because I’m so passionate about the topic (I could realistically go on for hours; DM me if you want an exclusive, 3,000 word blog on this)***

As repulsive as the thought of old foreskinnish fungal goo sounds, especially if you’re forced to touch it for long enough to catalyze ejaculation, I convinced myself that it’s a fetish (of sorts) to a small/medium percentage of women. You know what I mean, right? Like, maybe it’s an acquired taste, like black coffee or La Croix or Sarah Jessica Parker, that becomes progressively more tolerable/enjoyable with age and/or reps. Perhaps, it’s even an aphrodisiac that only hastens and heats up foreplay for both consenting parties.

Edit: I just found out that “smegma” is the official, technical term for the (formerly mysterious) substance we were attempting to describe, but I refused to research it. In this case, ignorance is bliss. 

But apparently, women can produce/grow (?) it on their genitalia as well. Yum.

In all seriousness, if you want to actually laugh tonight, then definitely check out Francis’ standup special on Barstool Gold. I don’t even like him as a human, so I promise I think it’s worth it.