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Man Gets DUI Because Bar Hopping In Golf Cart And Ramming A Squad Car Is Frowned Upon



LARKSVILLE — Police have arrested a Pennsylvania man on suspicion of driving under the influence after he was spotted driving a golf cart from bar to bar. Larksville police say the man told an officer he was using the golf cart to navigate the borough’s streets Monday night because he had been drinking and needed a way to get to a bar. Police say the man initially refused to stop for the officer and rammed a squad car with the golf cart. He was taken to a hospital for a blood alcohol test.

OK, maybe challenging a police car to drunk Oklahoma in his motorized toy cart isn’t a good idea, but let the man putt-putt his way to the bar at 15 mph. It’s the perfect mode of transportation for an adventure. The golf cart was originally designed for easier transportation for people who were too trashed to walk on the course and you can’t take away that right from anyone. You’re in a golf cart, you drink. That’s why there’s 20 cup holders and why it beeps obnoxiously to make sure you realize you’re actually going in reverse. Even the Pope kicks back a few swigs of wine when he hops in his Pope Mobile. It’s your God given right. If there is a heaven it will be full of golf carts.

Can people even get hurt on golf carts? I assumed it’s an impossibility like how you never get injured in those bouncey houses, you can’t get a woman pregnant while she’s on top or how a mogul can’t admit he’s been castrated by Twitter. Even so, dying in a golf cart may be the second most fun way to leave this world behind only death by Snu-Snu.

h/t Uncle Pops