Black Friday Weekend - 20% OffShop Now

Dave Kicked Me Off Barstool Radio On Account Of Me Needing My Laptop Closed

It’s a sad day in the land of Balls as I’ve been kicked off radio after 35 beautiful minutes with our fearless leader Dave Portnoy & 2/3 of the vaunted Fordham Pussy Patrol.

Now you may be thinking to yourself…what does one have to do to get kicked off radio? Well I guess the answer is touching your laptop one too many times! We were talking to our compadre Young Pageviews via phone after that tough Blues L last night so I figured I’d google some Chinchilla facts as we discuss Barstool’s resident dancing Chinchilla making an appearance on Fox Sports yesterday. Thanks to google’s immaculate search speed within seconds I had learned that Chinchillas are actually subject to heatstroke! Figured I’d lift up my laptop to show the info to everyone…little did I know that would be my fatal mistake.

As I returned my laptop to the table it just so happened to hit the mic stand a few times unbeknownst to me. Next thing I knew Dave was threatening to throw my ass to the curb if I touched my laptop again! It was practically this scene from Pulp Fiction starring Dave as Samuel L & me as the ill-fated Brett.


Directly after that I threw it to the side but there was one problem…The laptop was still open! That was a big ole problem for me. My instincts kicked in as it needed to be closed & before I knew it I was walking my ass back to my desk in broad daylight preparing to hear giggles directed at me from the whole office.

Did I learn my lesson today? Of course I did. No more laptops (open or closed) on Barstool Radio. If I’m ever lucky enough for Dave to give me a second chance I’ll be  going in bare bones.