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The Cubs Smoked The Cardinals Like A Big Legal Blunt

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Hell fucking yes boys and girls. No better way to start the weekend than a good quick clean win against your little brother. With a Saturday night game looming that gives us a solid 26 hours to celebrate this beauty. My recommendation is a few dozen responsible great tasting less filling Miller Lites.

Some food for thought with your beers:

Hamels Gets A Beef

Hamels looked awesome today. He threw exactly 0 pitches over the middle of the plate. Almost everything was on some kind of edge of the strike zone, either up or down, in or out.  And if it wasn’t, he was intentionally missing high or low. That’s Cole Hamels 101 and it’s really hard to hit on a day like today.

65 and sunny. Some breeze. Lots of good vibes and perfect baseball atmosphere. Hitters want to HIT HIT HIT on this kind of stage and Hamels used it to his advantage. Change ups down, fastballs up, stike 1 to about 2/3 of the hitters he faced mixed with your occasional curve = Big Swinging Dick performance.

Hamels last 2 starts… 

+ Both vs. St. Louis

+ 15 innings

+ 5 hits

+ 0 ER

+ 14 strikeouts

+ 3 walks

That’s why he’s getting $20,000,000*

Hamels So Far With The Cubs

Like I said.

Hamels gets a beef.

He’s Not The Only One

That’s a pretty good recipe when you rep a 16-inch lineup 9 out of 10 games.

Javy Being Javy

I’m sure you’re wondering if I get bored talking and blogging about Javy Baez and the answer is No Obviously Not Are You Fucking Kidding Me.

And while on topic Javy Baez’s splits on 0-2 are actually remarkable: .333/.333/.715 in 30 plate appearances on an 0-2 count. That’s not human.

No Highlights here but someone tell Rizzo to haul ass at all times. He can slow down when he’s dead. If you don’t know what I’m referencing, good. Let’s move on.

Looking Ahead

The rare Saturday night game in Wrigley tomorrow and I predict it to be an absolute zoo. The city has regulations on how many games the Cubs can play at night on Saturday in the summer because the neighborhood literally turns into a zoo. It’s awesome. I can’t recommend it enough.

Also don’t forget the Old Town Art Fair is this weekend. Play your cards right and you could parlay day drinking on Wells Street into a night in Wrigleyville for Cubs/Cards. That’s why you slug through a Chicago winter. See you guys on Clark Street. I heard Kimbrel is guest bartending at Sluggers.

*And because Tyler Chatwood turned out to be poop