Black Friday Weekend - 20% OffShop Now

Adam Schefter Could Have Broken At Least 8 Trades In The Time It Took Him To Chug A Cup Of Chocolate Milk

I’m sure that some folks out there are going to dog Schefty for chugging chocolate milk instead of gassing a beer, but let’s not act like chocolate milk isn’t delicious at any time of the day. I’ve long stated that chocolate milk is one of the best beverages known to man. I’ve been more on a chocolate almond milk kick lately just because it’s summer and I need to watch the calorie intake. I actually just got this bottle of chocolate bananamilk that tastes like a goddamn dream. I didn’t even know that banana milk was a thing that existed in the world, yet here we are. Also, I’ve actually blogged about this before but it’s still a million dollar idea since nobody has stolen it from me yet–but if I were the company that makes Cocoa Puffs, I would start to just bottle the leftover milk from a bowl of Cocoa P’s. Bottled Cocoa Puffs milk would be a hit and you’re lying to yourself if you don’t think you would purchase that without any hesitation.

Anyway, on to the chug. Yeah it just wasn’t a great showing from Schefty. You can tell that he just hasn’t participated in many chug-off’s in his life before. The technique just wasn’t there and that comes from a lack of practice. It looks like he was just attempting to sip it really quickly. Which makes total sense. I think that your chugging form really says a lot about who you are as a person. It’s a quick glimpse into your character. Adam Schefter is a guy who casually sips on a few chocolate milks over the course of a few hours as to make sure that he doesn’t get too out of hand. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. But that’s just the type of chocolate milk drinker this man is. Probably didn’t get invited to too many chocolate milk parties as a young lad so he never really developed those chocolate milk chugging skills. But every group of friends needs a guy like that. Because when Dan Orlovsky is buzzin’ too hard off that cocoa, the Scheft Dawg is there with keys on hand and can give him a ride home.