Jaylen Brown Stole This Poor Bastard's Girl On National Television

I remember when the news that Jaylen Brown and Terry Rozier were going to be on an episode of The Bachelorette back in late March. A weird thing to do in the middle of a disaster season but at the same time it explains a whole lot. Now while I haven’t seen any of this Bachelorette season so I’m not exactly sure what everyone’s backstory is here, I do know one thing. It took me 5 seconds of watching that clip to know that Jaylen just cucked the shit out of this poor bastard Jed. He never saw it coming. He was, as I sure as hell would be too, pumped just to meet Jaylen and Terry so he couldn’t even see what was unfolding right in front of his face. You want to talk chemistry? Jaylen brought that in spades. You saw who she ran to celebrate with after making that jumper, it sure as shit wasn’t Jed now was it. I dunno maybe he’s the favorite or something this season, but all I know is whatever they did after this shootaround she was thinking about Jaylen the entire time. Walking through Haymarket? Thinking about Jaylen. Maybe cruise the Freedom trail? Thinking about Jaylen. I mean he flashed this look at her

and it was a wrap.

But here’s the most surprising thing of that whole clip. How about the teamwork from Terry Rozier! This is a guy who had zero interest in helping his teammates when it came to the actual basketball on the court, but when it came to helping distract Jed so Jaylen could spit some game, Terry was the best wingman you could ask for. Kind of a dick teammate but great wing man, who knew? Listen if there’s one thing I can’t have as a contestant on this show it’s letting Jaylen get this sort of alone time with the girl I’m pursuing. He’s just way too cool of a dude to think that he’s just there to help and there’s no way you’re going to able to compete. Again I don’t know too much about this Jed fella but this feels like a big time mistake on his part.

Of course, this whole thing looks a billion times worse now because the Celtics choked big time in the playoffs just a few months after this was filmed, but hey at least Jaylen played OK. And the Auerbach Center looks dope as hell too so that’s cool I suppose. My only question is how soon after this interaction do we think the DMs were slid into? 0.5 seconds?