This Shit Slinging Gorilla Is My Kind Of Monkey

I’d buy this guy a beer. Get him, Koko and that delightful monkey that spit in Kramer’s face all together and we’ll have one hell of a good time. Solid side-arm hose on that gorilla, too. Rivals Dennis Eckersly in his prime.

In all seriousness these guys were getting a little too close for comfort. The Alpha Male doesn’t mess around cause he knows he has the sweetest life in the world he needs to defend. He very easily could have went full Planet Of The Apes instead of giving everyone a face full of feces. I snapped this photo at the Philly Zoo of the description of Jabari, the resident Alpha Male Silverback, because I was so impressed with his style:
 

JABARI, the silverback male, was born Februraty 5, 1985 in Chicago.  When Jabari isn’t eating, he’s napping or keeping tabs on the females.
 
Eating, napping, and fucking bitches. That is the official description that the Philadelphia Zoo put out on what the Alpha Male’s life is all about. Basically the king of all kings. No wonder they’re gonna sling shit and defend what they have to the death. I would too if I had that life at stake.