Barstool’s Europa League Final Preview – The “Chelsea’s Want vs Arsenal’s Need” Edition
Sam’s Soccer Safe Space For Stoolies
Hi Haters™,
Lookit. I’ve never been a big fan of Europa League. Perhaps all those years of watching my club play on Spursdays left a nasty taste in my mouth, or maybe it is the fact I am a red-blooded American who deifies winners but doesn’t necessarily care all that much for Plan B competitions. Either way I express my latent disdain for the tournament by essentially ignoring it all season. Considering the clown-show that the 2019 final has turned into – from Azerbaijan not allowing Mkhitaryan to play, to the ridiculously tiny allocation of tickets given to each club, to whatever the hell this was:
suffice to say this hasn’t exactly been a brilliant showing from UEFA by any means. However, to the organization’s credit, they went a did a very smart thing a couple years ago and actually made Europa mean something by handing out a Champions League slot to the winner… so for that reason, and pretty much only that reason, I have decided to post a reminder that the game is being played today cloaked in the façade of a real quick preview (with prediction).
So let’s get to it — after, that is, we bask for a moment in the gloriousness that is the world’s most depressing continental European competition anthem:
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EUROPA LEAGUE
Reminder of how each team fared in the semifinals:
And today’s particulars:
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Chelsea [+125]
Arsenal [+225]
Draw [+240]
We all know the teams at this point. The big question mark was whether N’Golo Kante would be fit and the answer is apparently yes because he is in Chelsea’s starting XI… which for the two teams look like this:
I’d normally say that this is likely to be a low-scoring affair because cup finals traditionally turn out that way. Guys come out a little nervy and scared to make mistakes. I’m not convinced this game will be like that. Not that we are in for a 7-5 game or anything but I do think it will be more open than many finals because Arsenal in particular have – in Europa League games especially – come out basically trying to outscore opponents. Maybe that will be different against a fellow EPLer… or not.
The game is likely going to boil down to a couple things:
1) Eden Hazard – old boy has done everything but pack his bags and jump on a plane to Madrid at this point but you just know that he wants to go out with a win in the hopes that fans are a little less pissed that he’s leaving. Gotta expect a huge game from him today. (Advantage: Chelsea)
2) Chelsea legend Petr Cech starting in net for Arsenal. Bold choice by Unai Emery. (Advantage: Chelsea)
3) Everything about Chelsea’s preparation for this game has been a shambles. They were forced to go play a meaningless friendly against the Revolution a couple weeks ago and ended up losing Loftus-Cheek – who had been KILLING it lately – to an injury. There are rumors about Sarri potentially leaving, or even getting fired if they don’t win the game. There is the Hazard situation. And then there was whatever the hell this kerfuffle was:
(Advantage: Arsenal)
4) Finally, there is this extremely important fact that people would be well-advised to ignore at their peril: Chelsea want to win this game but are already assured of playing in Champions League next season… Arsenal NEED to win this game or else face another season of Europurgatory. (Advantage: Arsenal)
So for people who are as good at math as me that means we have a tie, and in the event of a tie we go to a tiebreaker, which in this case is the fact that the only way for this season to end on a sour note would be for Arsenal to win a trophy and Tottenham to get squadoosh… so deep down in my heart of hearts I already know I have seen this movie in 2017 when Arsenal came out of absolutely nowhere to beat Chelsea – the runaway champions that season – to win the FA Cup right in my eyeball.
Arguably the last time Lexi played soccer
Déjà poo all over my face coming right up. Arsenal to win 3-1.
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Big game Saturday. Big, big, big, big YOUGE game.
I have talked about doing a game watch for years but I may break down and actually do one this weekend. Lemme know on the twitters if it is something you’d be interested in attending.
Holler,
Samuel Army