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Banks' Winter Olympic Blog: Sunday February 23rd

medal count feb 23

Bad news you guys. The fix was in from the start and we all got taken for a ride. With only 3 medal events remaining, these standings are very close to what will end up being the final results. Norway is likely to tie or overtake us with medal(s) in the final cross country skiing event. There was no way Vladimir was letting us leave his domain with a medal count victory. Putin gonna Putin.

putin glasses

 

We struck out on medals on Saturday. Our only chance of picking up another medal on Sunday is in the 4-man bobsled. The Americans sit in 4th at the halfway point, just 1 hundredth of a second behind the Germans.

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Just gonna send these Russians a quick reminder that they got Oshie’d last week.

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And that’s all I got from Saturday. Just not a lot to get excited about down the stretch here. Couple of soul crushing defeats has me clamoring for the 2016 Games in Rio already. However, I refuse to leave the stool empty-handed. So I’ll hand out a few medals here to wrap up the XXII Winter Olympic Games.

 

TOP AMERICAN IMAGES

 

Bronze- American soldiers watch Ochie dangle through Russia.

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Silver – Sage Kotsenburg. So much passion and American pride in this photo.

kotsenburg

 

 

Gold – USA sweeps the ski slopestyle event. Just raising 3 American flags with the Sochi flame in the background, nbd.

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FUNNIEST PHOTOS

 

Bronze – Godzirra!

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Silver – Jamaican watermelon helmets. Apparently this offended a few people in the US. Grow up. Funny is funny.

jamaica watermelon

 

 

Gold – Johnny Weir in anything he wore. Flaming hot day in and day out.

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BEST USA HOCKEY GIFs

 

Bronze – John Carlson gets the tournament started off with a laser.

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Silver – Kessel embarrases Slovenia D-man

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Gold – Oshie. No explanation needed.

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BEST CRASH GIFs

 

Bronze – Russian Curler smashes his face in

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Silver – Guy must have a billion internet dollars with all these mogul moves.

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Gold – Snowboarder ragdoll style. And it’s not even close.

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TOP CROWD GIFs

 

Bronze – USA bro just killing the front row game

usa bro

 

Silver – Swiss Bear-fucker needs no assistance.

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Gold – Kid forced to watch Russian women’s hockey

russia women's hockey

 

TOP OLYMPIC SMOKES

 

Bronze – Miriam Gossner. Know how I know she’s podium material? She didn’t even compete in the Sochi Olympics, and none of you made a peep. That much smoke.

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(Pssst. NSFW’s.)

 

Silver – Tina Maze. An all-around talent, and won two gold medals to boot.

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tina maze 2

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Gold – Silje Norendal. You knew this was coming. <3 you babe.

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Alright, it’s been real Sochi. Bring on Rio, 2016.