Bad news you guys. The fix was in from the start and we all got taken for a ride. With only 3 medal events remaining, these standings are very close to what will end up being the final results. Norway is likely to tie or overtake us with medal(s) in the final cross country skiing event. There was no way Vladimir was letting us leave his domain with a medal count victory. Putin gonna Putin.
We struck out on medals on Saturday. Our only chance of picking up another medal on Sunday is in the 4-man bobsled. The Americans sit in 4th at the halfway point, just 1 hundredth of a second behind the Germans.
Just gonna send these Russians a quick reminder that they got Oshie’d last week.
And that’s all I got from Saturday. Just not a lot to get excited about down the stretch here. Couple of soul crushing defeats has me clamoring for the 2016 Games in Rio already. However, I refuse to leave the stool empty-handed. So I’ll hand out a few medals here to wrap up the XXII Winter Olympic Games.
TOP AMERICAN IMAGES
Bronze- American soldiers watch Ochie dangle through Russia.
Silver – Sage Kotsenburg. So much passion and American pride in this photo.
Gold – USA sweeps the ski slopestyle event. Just raising 3 American flags with the Sochi flame in the background, nbd.
Bronze – Godzirra!
Silver – Jamaican watermelon helmets. Apparently this offended a few people in the US. Grow up. Funny is funny.
Gold – Johnny Weir in anything he wore. Flaming hot day in and day out.
BEST USA HOCKEY GIFs
Bronze – John Carlson gets the tournament started off with a laser.
Silver – Kessel embarrases Slovenia D-man
Gold – Oshie. No explanation needed.
BEST CRASH GIFs
Bronze – Russian Curler smashes his face in
Silver – Guy must have a billion internet dollars with all these mogul moves.
Gold – Snowboarder ragdoll style. And it’s not even close.
TOP CROWD GIFs
Bronze – USA bro just killing the front row game
Silver – Swiss Bear-fucker needs no assistance.
Gold – Kid forced to watch Russian women’s hockey
TOP OLYMPIC SMOKES
Bronze – Miriam Gossner. Know how I know she’s podium material? She didn’t even compete in the Sochi Olympics, and none of you made a peep. That much smoke.
Silver – Tina Maze. An all-around talent, and won two gold medals to boot.
Gold – Silje Norendal. You knew this was coming. <3 you babe.
Alright, it’s been real Sochi. Bring on Rio, 2016.