Oh my god what an unbelievable flex. This is what people don’t understand about flexing. You can only flex yourself so much. When you really elevate yourself up to next-level flexing is when you flex out everyone around you. Having your 5 year old stunt around the playground swinging on the monkey bars with a gold Rollie dangling on his wrist – that’s a next level flex.
And forget everyone criticizing Future for this – “what’s a 5 year old gonna do with a Rolex? Can he even tell time yet?” You know how many Hot Wheels and Super Soakers* (do kids still play with these?) that Rollie can buy you? How many packs of Capri Sun and pizza bagels? You find the rich dad picking up his son at your kindergarten, show it off, bling it a little bit, highball him on the offer and remind him that your Future’s son – next thing you know you got a massive wad of cash in your pocket to guy buy all the 5-year-old shit you want. Excellent parenting by Future. Teach your son to hustle and grind at an early age, just in case he doesn’t grow up with the same vocal ability that Autotune gives his father.
*I don’t know if you’ve seen our Instagram stories, but Nerf sent us a bunch of guns to play with in the office. Now back in my day we had like, little basic guns that shot 3 or 4 foam darts, plain old footballs, pump action Super Soakers – those were our toys. What Nerf sent us was a motherfucking submachine gun that shoots 5000000000 balls a second and a mobile drone that you control with a handheld videocamera to locate your target and shoot it in the face. Times done changed.