What Could Possibly Possess Someone To Take A Blowtorch To The Junk?

Oh, they’re from Russia? Carry on. Still though, all the Vodka and peasantry in the world shouldn’t encourage someone to set fire to their dick. But I suppose it’s a good thing in the end for the rest of humanity. No matter how shitty your day is, you can almost always put a smile on your face and say, well, at least my genitals didn’t melt today. I was in a pretty bad mood before I saw this and now I’m on cloud 9 thinking how thankful I am that my balls don’t resemble Harvey Dent’s face. It’s truly the little things in life.

On the other hand, Goodness Gracious Great Balls Of Fire!!! I’ll show myself out…