A Man With The Butt Cut Out Of His Pants Was Running Around A Chicago Library Yesterday

Imagine that.

You’re 13 years old trying to finish up reading one of the Hardy Boys books (are those still a thing?) for a book report and you look up to see a yokel running through the library like this:

assless-chaps-cowboysI’m sorry let’s wash that down with some new trendy ripped butt jeans before we continue any further

5af9be6f42e1cc1b4d1ac640-960-480Hell yeah, I’d say that’d cause a disturbance. If you’re in a Chicago Public Library on a Sunday that means it’s crunch time. Especially at this time of the year. Nobody wants to be in there, but you gotta get your shit done so maybe your Mom dropped you off or you rode your bike there with a couple friends to crank this puppy out, and you’re suddenly met with Mr. Belvidere from American Wedding midway through.

(That slide down the couch to conceal his ass was a veteran move by a man who has definitely been there before)

Not exactly what you want, but it’s a good life lesson to expect the unexpected in this city. It’ll keep your head on a swivel from here on out. You think you’re just going there to finish this book report so you can get one more free personal pan pizza from Pizza Hut’s “Book It” program before Summer hits?

Not so fast my friend. You’re gonna have to play through adversity if you want this one.